Blood-stained (Yuuji & Sukuna x Reader)

Need you ~ Ch57

¤ (Y/n)'s Point Of View ¤

"Can we talk?" Yuuji asked me, his eyes cast low and unable to look at me. My eyes widened slightly as I cleared my throat with suprise, sitting up immediately so that I was no longer laying down anymore. I wondered how long be had been there, sitting and waiting for me to wake up. I guess Sukuna didn't tell me so that I wouldn't be even more anxious to go back.

"Y-Yeah." I whispered out, hating the fact that I managed to stutter with a simple word. Was he here to apologise or continue attacking me with his words? Yuuji sighed, interloking his hands as he leaned the back of his hands on his knees. He still refused to make eye-contact with me, staring at his feet.
"Junpei's dead." The boy began, as if I did not already know this.

"Yuuji-" I tried to interupt, only for him to quickly seize the conversation back.
"Let me talk." Yuuji demanded softly, now looking up at me. Only now could I see that his eyes were bloodshot and red, as if he had cried for hours.
"Please?" He added weakly, practically begging me. I bit my tongue to hold back any facial expressions I wanted to make, nodding at him.

"Junpei's dead...and I blame you." He repeated, adding something that somehow was able to hurt me more than what he had told me earlier. Emotions clawed at my throat, my eyes burning harshly. I bit my inner cheek so that I wouldn't let any tears spill. This wasn't fair. I didn't kill Junpei.
"Not for the way he died...but I blame you for not being there when he needed you- when I needed you." He explained to me, his voice cracking at the last bit.

"He died horrribly and you could have prevented it. And when I turned around to face you, you weren't there. I was terrified, (Y/n)." He told me weakly.
"You've always been there for me...when I'm sad or angry, you always know exactly how to make the feeling go away. And I didn't expect you to magically make my grief dissapear, but I just wanted to see that you were there for me." The pinkette continued.

"Instead, I felt fear. I didn't know where you were or if you were somehow dead too. I spent the whole fight worrying and overthinking!" Yuuji croaked out, using his sleeve to wipe a stray tear.
"And then I spent all my dignity begging Sukuna to bring back Junpei. And you know what he did?" Yuuji suddenly asked me, with a sour smile.
"He laughed." I whispered. Yuuji didn't seem at all suprised that I knew this.
"But I'm sure you could have convinced him with a simple please, right?" Yuuji chuckled bitterly.

"I don't understand your relationship with Sukuna, but I know that there is something there. I'm not going to ask you about it. I'm not sure I'd like the answer...but it bothers me sometimes." Yuuji admitted, making my brows furrow.
"It bothers me that I can spend most of that fight on the verge of tears worrying about you, only for Sukuna to tell me that you're fine before I lost consciousness." Yuuhi whispered.

"I needed you, (Y/n). I needed you then, and I need you now. I will always need you, damn it. And it isn't fair for you to constantly be needed by me but I will continue needing you." He told me passionately, making me gulp.
"To get me through the grief...and the sadness and the rest of my life here as a jujutsu sorcerer- hell, even when I'm dead I'll still need you, (Y/n)." Yuuji whispered. After that he seemed to have come to a stand still, staring at me as he tried to hold back another tear.

I wanted to continue being sad and angry, after all, he still hurt me for being hurt. But that was the first time he'd ever opened himself up to me like that. We've been together for four years and he always cried in silence or punched a boxing bag to get out his anger. He'd hug me and claim to feel better instantly. But he'd never rant. Not like that. I'm not even sure I understood half his reasonings, but I understood just enough to see where he was coming from.

"Can I speak now?" I asked him softly, waiting untill I was sure he has nothing more to say. He nodded weakly, stating up at me from how he leaned over on his knees. That's when I lifted up my hand and flicked him hard on the forehead. The boy flinched back from both pain and shock, his hands flying ti his forehead to soothe the pain.
"Ow, what what that for?!" Yuuji exclaimed.

"For being an idiot!" I replied back with a small glare, my eyes softening after just a few seconds of glaring. I really couldn't be mad at him for long.
"For hurting me the way you did...for blaming me for something that I could not control. I wanted to be there- I really did, Yuu. Whether my power or presence would have been enough to save Junpei or convince Sukuna to revive him- I don't know." I told him truthfully. I didn't think Sukuna had the ability to revive the dead. But then again, he done it for Yuuji.

"But I hate that I wasn't there in his last moments and during the time you needed me most. I wanted to, Yuuji. But there are going to be times where you need me and I won't be there, and today was an example of that." I told him.
"I could die tomorrow, Yuuji. And even thought you'll need me, I wouldn't be able to be there no matter how much you want me to be." I told him, watching him as his eyes flickered to his feet.

"But I promise you for that as long as I'm alive, I won't let you feel such grief again. Even if I have to take it upon myself. Even if I carry every one of your burdens on my back untill I get crushed, I'll protect you." I promised truthfully. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, threatening to spill with every word.
"Even if you grow to despise me or feel disgusted by me. Because I will keep secrets. I will lie and I will do things that you'd hate. At times, I may seem like someone you don't recognise." I mumbled.

"But as long as you're safe, I'll be happy. It'll be worth it." I told him with small smile. That's when Yuuji launched himself at me, hugging me tightly as we both let out our tears. His of grief- and mine of dread. He probably thought I was exaggerating, but one day he'd realise that I was not. I held too many secrets and have told too many lies to be forgiven.

My ideology is one he wouldn't understand. But as long as Sukuna understood, then I knew that at least I wouldn't go crazy by keeping things to myself.

(A.N ~ For the next few chapters I will be writing my own content to fill in the month before the exchange event. This story will most likely be over 100 chapter long with what I have planned.)

Chapter 58 Quote Teaser :

"You're going to convince the brat to make another pact with me."