I feel like i've lost years i haven't lived-September

Sometimes, For A Few Seconds I May Confuse The Two

So after lunch was finished Phil, Tommy and Techno went into the living room. Wilbur started going to his room and Carson, despite her fear, decided to follow him. She was really worried for the boy after all and was known for blocking her problems down when the people she cared for needed help.

Right before he went into his room she pulled on his sleeve to show she was behind him. Wilbur turned around and looked at Carson shocked, she was almost as quiet as Techno when she wanted to be!

"Hey Carson, whats up?"

"Wil.. are you okay?"

Wilbur hesitated, he knew it wasn't his fault and he knew it wasn't Carsons fault either. But maybe it would be better if he told her, maybe then they could work on it.. together.

"Its.. nothing Carson."

"Are you sure? I know that earlier you were pretty upset.. is it because of this morning?"

Wilbur let out a breath. He wanted to talk about it. But he was scared to address it incase he upset Carson

"Im sorry."

"Wil, i don't know why you're apologizing. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Yeah but.. im just sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry."

"Can we.. can we talk please?"

"We are talking."

"No like.. just somewhere thats not the hallway?"

Carson nodded and took a deep breath

"Follow me."

She led him to the window in her room, leaving her door open just a crack as she was supposed to. Wilbur climbed out the window and Carson yelled to Phil that they would be outside before joining him on the roof.

The two sat just staring at the clouds, similar to what Tommy and Carson had done earlier that same day. They sat in a surprisingly comforting silence for about ten minutes until Wilbur spoke again.

"Do i really remind you of him?"

"Of Jacob?"

"Yeah."

"Its not you in specific Wil. You're nothing like him, okay? If you put anyone with brown eyes and short brown hair in front of me they'll remind me of him too."

"But i still remind you of him?"

"Sometimes."

"What does that mean?"

As Wilbur spoke Carson could hear his voice shake. She didn't know how to comfort him, this was hard for her too. But she understood that it isn't easy to know you remind someone of a person in prison for life. Especially for such vial things. She knew he needed someone and right now she didn't see Jacob Banks. Right now she saw Wilbur Watson, a boy who was absolutely heartbroken. So she held out her hand, waiting for him to take it before she spoke. Wilbur looked at it and hesitated for a second, he didn't want her to be uncomfortable. But after a minute she still hadn't put her hand down, so Wilbur took it and lightly put their interlocked hands down on the hard roof.

"There are certain times.. where i look at you and i see him for a second. But it's never been for more then a few minutes. Sometimes you wear a certain shirt or have a certain cologne or something and for a few minutes ill be back in his house. Back in that closet. Back in front of him. And its scary for a minute, maybe for a few minutes. But then i realize its just you. That you aren't him, you aren't the man who did those things to me and you never would be that person."

Carson sighed and then continued talking

"You are not Jacob Banks. You are William Watson. Sometimes for a brief second i may confuse the two but you are not him, okay? Wilbur you are not a bad person."

"Okay."

Wilbur sighed out. If he really believed what Carson said, she would never know.

The two fell into a silence, watching the clouds pass for another 15 minutes before
Phil called them back into the house. Something about some people coming over? All Carson knew was that Wilburs mood shifted completely at the mention of one certain name.

He quickly ran out of Carson's room and into his own while she just stayed in her room. She wasn't really in the mood to meet people but she knew that Phil would probably be up any minute to have her get ready for introductions. However until then Carson would just lay on her bed, still in her pajamas.