I feel like i've lost years i haven't lived-September

I'm Sorry.

A walk? Maybe a walk would be good. Yeah. Okay a walk.

"Okay.."

Carson replied, her voice was just barely over a whisper. Phil knew this side of her. She was regretting everything she said. Regretting the way she acted. Phil was used to Carson's out bursts, they were actually much better then the ones she had at school. Even in just the week she'd been at the house Phil had been called to the school multiple times because of an issue. Mostly it was because someone said something bad about Tommy or Wilbur. Nobody dared to speak of Techno that way, but nobody knew Carson was their sister until her first fight over Wilbur. Some girl had said he was stupid for wanting to pursue music and that was enough to set Carson off so she started swinging. Of course she won, if Carson knew how to do one thing it was fight. Techno ended up having to pull her off the girl before she killed her.

"Okay, lets go for a walk."

His voice was steady, the kind of voice any parent uses when calming a panicked child. Except Carson wouldn't know what that sounded like. Phils voice was soft, similar to the way he talked to her at school when trying to calm her down.

Her anger at school was always 100 times worse then her anger at home. At home she tried to contain it, she didn't want to hurt Tommy or Wilbur. Phil and Techno had easily held her back in school but the other two boys weren't fighters. And Carson knew that she was a different person, a dangerous person when she was angry.

Carson walked down the stairs and started going out the door when Phil stopped her again.

"We going on a walk without shoes?"

However she only nodded and continued walking out of the house. Phil followed, luckily he had shoes on still so he wasn't walking barefoot. He had figured that the concrete would bother Carsons feet so he grabbed a pair of slip on shoes incase she wanted them when they starting going back.

Carson's anger was definitely something she would need to talk about with Eret.

The girl walked slightly in front of Phil. She wasn't sure why but for some reason she was still mad at him. Carson knew it was unreasonable, but she couldn't stop being pissed at the man. Maybe it was because she's starting to see him as a father.. and all Carson knew of fathers is that they're dangerous. She knew it wasn't a valid reason, well if you asked Phil he'd probably say that it was perfectly fine.

"Carson please slow down."

The girl sighed and slowed down slightly. She didn't actually hate him. She hated the idea of him and that was something she needed to fix. Phil wasn't a bad guy, he was just a father.. and Carson hated the idea of another father. It seemed more like another man who could hurt her.

"Look your appointment with Eret is tomorrow. Maybe you should talk to him about your anger?"

Carson once again sighed and mumbled out a small 'okay' continuing to walk. Honestly Carson didn't know where she was walking, all she knew was she wanted to be anywhere but that house.

"Do you want to talk about what happened Carson?"

"I don't know Phil. I was just mad he woke me up."

"Carson i think we both know thats not what happened."

"Well then what the fuck do you think happened Phil? Since you're so damn smart and you know every fucking thing. What happened!"

At this point the girl had stopped walking and was looking at Phil. All of her anger had come back at once, but again she wasn't mad at Phil. Carson didn't know what she was mad at. So Phil acting like he had even a clue of what happened made her extremely mad.

"So? What happened Phil! Since you know absolutely everything, please enlighten me, what happened!"

Phil was just staring at the girl. Waiting for her moment to stop before he continued to talk. However Carson didn't say anything else, she just looked at Phil and waited for him to say something. She wanted him to say anything. So when he didn't she got more angry.

"Well?"

"Carson you're angry. We understand that. But are you angry at us? Or are you angry at everything else?"

The girl sighed heavily before responding in a slightly mocking tone

"Isn't that what 'therapy' is supposed to help me figure out Phil?"

"Suppose thats true."

This was pretty similar to how Carson acted at school. Although much less volatile then at school, the whole mocking and yelling and just walking away without knowing where she's going? That was almost exactly like how she was at school, according to Techno of course.

Carson was slowly starting to calm down. As she started to calm down she realized how hungry and tired she actually was. The girl was damn near exhausted, and was just now fully realizing that she had spent the entire day spilling her guts to some random people she doesn't know.. and she agreed to therapy? Maybe if she goes back then she can eat and then just go to bed and not think about it anymore.

When she turned around and started walking back towards the house Phil was slightly confused.

"Are we going back?"

"Looks that way doesn't it genius?"

Phil just nodded and kept his pacing slightly behind Carson.

Once they got back to the house Carson sat down at the table and started eating without a word to the other people who she couldn't quite remember. She put some spaghetti noodles on her plate and the sauce, which by now had gone cold. But Carson didn't care, she just wanted to get dinner done so she could shower and go to bed.

Tommy didn't seem to pick up on Carson still being upset however. So the boy went over and hugged her from the side.

"Carson you're back! Are you okay now?"

The girl however just continued eating her food, silently. She didn't shrug Tommy off like the others expected, but she also didn't fully hug him back. Phil had come back into the house and started re-heating the food for the other guests. The conversation at the table had went silent when Carson came back in and Phil knew it was a recipe for disaster.

"So spaghetti should be done soon and then we can all eat!"

Everyone looked at Phil and saw the pleading look in his eyes, so they started recreating conversation.

Phil looked at Carson as she got up from her seat at the table.

"Bub, if you want you can just shower and go to bed okay hun?"

Carson yawned and nodded her head slightly. Finally fully feeling the effects of her anger crashing and completely regretting every single word she said. The girl walked over to Phil and flopped her head into his chest. She expected him to push her away but instead Phil pulled her closer to him and asked what was wrong.

"Im sorry."

She whispered out and then immediately stood up straight and walked away to take a shower.