I feel like i've lost years i haven't lived-September

Panic Attacks In Empty Hallways

The girl was pulled out of her thoughts by a knocking on the stall door

"Carson? You went quiet on me there. Are you alright?"

Sucking in a deep breath she responded

"Yeah. Yeah i'm fine Luke."

However the boy didn't miss how Carsons voice wavered as she spoke. As if she had been crying? But Luke hadn't heard any sniffles or sobs or.. anything actually.

There was only eight more minutes until the next class started. Luke and Sam were both hoping that she came out without a fight, neither boy thought they would be that lucky though.

Carson needed to get herself together before they made her leave the bathroom. She wiped her eyes and mustered up the fake smile she used on the days she hated the world

All of a sudden the bathroom stall swung open to reveal a perfectly happy looking Carson. She looked at the two boys with a confused face

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

Both boys just shook their heads and followed her to her third class. Surprisingly, other then refusing to do a couple work sheets, Carsons third period class went well. Lunch also went decently, of course when she saw the three girls from yesterday her anger sparked a little but Tommy was able to calm her down with just a small tug on her sleeve and shake of his head.

Carson's fifth class was gym. Which meant she was supposed to dress out but changing wasn't something she was willing to do and considering her background the school never made her. Obviously she was still expected to participate in the lesson, she was just in her normal school clothes.

Today was dodge ball. Carson had never understood this one, she never understood gym in general but especially dodge ball. Whats the point in throwing a ball at someone? No matter, Carson would just sit out. It was probably a bad idea for her to play a game that involves hitting people anyway.

Normally her gym teacher was understanding about everything Carson has gone through, of course she didn't know details but she was told that Carson had went through some stuff when she was younger and that she didn't have to dress out or participate if she didn't want to.

This worked too! Carson was the most well behaved in gym class. But today the gym teacher had a substitute that was less then willing to let Carson have these 'privileges' as he called them. All the female students tried explaining that the girl was excluded from dressing out. But this teacher was NOT having it. When telling Carson she would get in trouble for not dressing out didn't work he decided, for some reason, the next best thing was to try and force her to dress out. Luke and Sam had been trying to defuse the situation but the teacher swiftly pushed them out of the way and tried pulling Carson into the dressing room.

As soon as the male teachers hands landed on Carson she screamed at him, shoving him away and running out of the gymnasium with both Luke and Sam following close behind. Obviously the boys weren't stupid, they knew what happened to Carson and they knew she wouldn't be okay after that. They just hoped they'd be able to calm her down without having to call Phil.

Eventually the girl stopped running and curled into a ball in the corner of some random hallway. Both boys dropped down beside her and started trying to calm her down.

"Carson, can you look at me?"

Sam was listening to the girls breathing as he spoke to her. It was sharp and quick, surely painful.

"Carson please look at me."

The girl slightly looked up from her legs, not fully looking at Sam but more so then before at least.

"Can i grab your hand?"

Carson nodded her head lightly

"Okay, i need you to try and figure out what i'm drawing without looking. Can you try and do that?"

Again a light nod

Sam started softly tracing an ice cream cone onto the palm of Carsons hand. Once he finished his small drawing he asked if she knew what he drew.

"I don't- I.. i can't Sam. I'm sorry i-"

"Shhh, no its okay Carson, its okay lets just try again alright?"

This time he drew something much simpler, a heart. Again after he finished, asking if she knew what it was.

"No- Sam i can't.. i don't know i just-"

"Its alright Carson, just try and focus okay? Take a deep breath."

Luke took an over exaggerated breath and waited for Carson to copy. After she did he let the breath out slowly, continuing to do these over exaggerated breaths until the girl seemed to have her breathing back under her own control. Now she was just tired.. quite tired. Carson stopped sitting up properly and instead flopped over so her head was laying on Sam's shoulder. The brown haired boy held her hand lightly and drew small circles on it, both boys waiting until she was ready to talk.

"Thanks.."

Carson murmured at a barely audible level. So much so that if it wasn't dead silent they would have missed it.

Luke spoke first in response to the girl.

"You don't have to thank us."

Sam was the next to talk.

"We're just glad you're okay. Would you like to talk about it?"