Destined To Be

Trapped in Storm

(Warning: self harm, suicide)

“Tae please don’t cry. Your tears are saying that saying no to him is hurting you more than him. Then why Tae?” Tears were freely streaming down Taehyung’s eyes and Bogum has never seen this in his life. He has always seen him laughing, smiling and doing silly pranks on others. This side of him is totally unknown to him. He felt a pang in his heart and rushed towards to hug him.

“I don’t know hyung. One part of me wants to get back to him, and another wants to make him compensate for what he did to me. Even if it hurts staying away from him, I am ready to give time. I am also sorry for hurting you hyung. I have rejected your love for his sake.” Tae’s words pricked Bogum’s heart, “Tae, I know my proposal made it hard for you. But I wanted you to know I will always be there for you. As your lover or as hyung. I want you to lean on me, now that’s what you need the most.” 

Yesterday when Jungkook left, Tae bottled up his emotions and went the rest of the day acting as if he didn't care. But he could not sleep all night, Jungkook’s gloomy face was coming in front of his eyes and he woke up early just to sit with his painting and puppies in the living room and unburden himself. But he could not. Previously he would feel numb at the thoughts of Jungkook but now when he remembers their interaction, he only feels pain and sadness -as if someone has stabbed his old wound and he is bleeding from it again. Bogum came to surprise him with strawberry milk and breakfast and expected to get a warm smile in exchange but all he could see was pain occupying the mind of his lovely Tae.

It took a while for Bogum to calm Tae down and have him eat his breakfast. The TV was blabbering out some political news and none of them was paying attention to it. Suddenly one news struck Taehyung’s ears and he felt like losing his soul at the moment, “International business tycoon Jeon Jungkook was found unconscious in his hotel suite. He was taken to the critical care unit. Though his company has not released any statement regarding this but police is suspecting it as suicide attempt. Doctors are yet to find the reason and police have already started an investigation.” Tae's mind went blank and he froze, so yesterday this is what Jungkook meant by going away. He never thought Jungkook could do something like this, but probably he never knew what Jungkook was actually going through in the last few months. Tae could not think anything anymore he lost his consciousness too.

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Bogum was patiently waiting beside the bed of Taehyung; he knew Taehyung still loves Jungkook and he does not want to interfere anyway. If any day Taehyung chooses to be with any of them, he will accept it. He won’t force Taehyung; afterall, love does not mean trapping a person and forcibly keeping them with you. It means being their home; so that they can find solace in your arm even when the sea is turbulent. Bogum does not think this as being selfless, but he thinks it is what true love means. 

The moment he saw Tae waking up, he rushed to him, “Bear, are you alright?” Tae could not remember at first why he was there. The moment he could remember, he broke into tears, “Why does he always do this? Everytime trying to escape? Now, for the rest of my life, I will feel guilty. Why did he do this to me?” Bogum hugged Tae to his chest tightly, possessively, so that he could feel warmth even when everything around him had lost their warmth. 

“You know Hyung, the man, … that man…he came to stab me…Kookie threw himself on me and held me  tight…blood….blood…he smiled at me…and fell asleep in my lap. He protected me, but I failed to do the same for him. Now how will I live hyung? Without him? I can’t hyung...I can’t.” 

“Taehyung, please calm down for a bit. He has not left you. He is in the same hospital. He is still in emergency care but doctors are trying. But, let me warn you. I sought permission to meet him. The doctors denied it and they have assured me to inform when he wakes up. So, till then you rest here. Don’t move. He will not be happy to see you in this state.” Tae did not know whether to find hope or feel total despair. Tears kept coming down his eyes. A series of thoughts occupied his mind, “Didn’t he think of me once? Why didn’t he try to win me over? Why didn’t he correct himself? Or try to be good to me?” His scream echoed in the room, “You are selfish, Jeon Jungkook! Now, I hate you more.” 

Author's note: Sorry for not updating for a while. I was trying to write another story. A few more chapters of this story is already written but they need correction. So, I decided to use the weekend and as compensation there will be another update today. I hope my apology will be accepted. ☺💜