Endless loop of madness - William afton X reader

37 - Are we dead?

William's pov

She stood in front of me, temptingly, her lips, her hips and her eyes glaring horridly at me, as she did finished up dragging the wet laundry of the washing machine. She knew nothing and never knew why anguish and disgust. It wasn't her, but her mannerisms, the sweetness that drew my attention to every part of her. Even with the back chat, and neediness, I found love for many years with her. The intoxicating feeling of being around her after so long of her being gone. Out of my life, out of my reality. Seeing her taunting form brought me back to the first time in my life with her.

She was just as beautiful, maybe even more beautiful than before. Her eyes sparkled in her nice clothing that complimented her body. Never having much at the start, she fitted the role she played.

"Are you even listening?" She scoffed, she dropped the heavy clothes basket onto the bench.

"It's one thing for Michael to not listen to a word I say. But, you. William, I'm fed up with being ignored." Her voice was just like hers, but worse; she was exactly the same as her. Was it truly her? My beautiful wife for too long, long ago. I felt oddly nothing for her, but yet memories of how she was always there for the children at least.

It felt oddly familiar, us in the kitchen at each other's throats over the simplest of things, her wanting much more than what life offered her; pissed off with the children's antics and her not keeping them under control. It was always an uphill battle. Yet, I shared a bed with her, told her I loved her and meant it. Meant the pretty words, the sly remarks, every fight, every insult.

"Is this real?" I couldn't believe my eyes. She was gone. She's meant to not be around anymore. I made perfectly sure of that, but she was standing with pride in her stance.

"Did you work yourself into forgetting shit? I live with a bunch of idiots, I swear. Go talk to your children. You missed Michael's birthday again. He's 12. Do you remember his birthday? Elizabeth's favourite game? Or Even Evan's name? With how little time you spend with them, I assume you don't remember about them. Or anything about me."

"Can you shut up? This isn't real." I raised my voice, seeing her again, after so many years, so many loops. So much time has passed without her around.

"Do you remember my name? My eye colour? My hair colour? How did I look? How do you know if this is real?" It built up a hatred within me, seeing her, hearing her voice and her words. I knew I was never the best husband, but I knew for a fact that I wouldn't of forgotten her face.

"You have!" She gasped, looking defeated and devastated.

"Why do you punish me like this? It's worse when you bring them into this. I rather you didn't drag my children into this. My wife is into this. They had nothing to do with anything I did. The pain I caused and the lives I destroyed, for myself to gain. They weren't involved in any of it, so don't drag them into my hell."

The room turned into a cold confined space, where I crapped between two walls. My hands were mine, broken and decayed metal encased in them. A Narrow crawlspace with laughter all around me, rotting my decayed mind with the feeling that I wanted again. To hear the pain of others again. Their laughter angered me with a rage that I never thought that I could possess. I held no hope, no idea, no nothing but the animalistic urge to kill again, a sensation that I felt only I killed and got away with. Every single time. I was unstoppable. I A M U N S T O P P I B L E.

As I dragged myself through the narrow vent, I heard the breathing of a person. A person. A way out.

"No, don't remember after your death?" The things warped with different people's voices, young and old. Unfamiliar and familiar. It used voices as if it was running out, different tones and emotions filled the air, as it let out words that didn't belong to the thing that haunted my nights and taunted my wakening moments.