Emerald Addicted

39 . Ready for the truth ?

~ Chris ~
How long had it been ? I'd lost count of all the times i had been thinking about her, day and night ..Things turned out pretty badly and i was rushed out of a world i didn't know and for sure didn't want to be.

But never have i thought it would be so hard to leave someone you love...knowing that deep down ,Iknow i probably would never come back . There was just a little hope , a little light in the darkness of that pathway, but i knew i had to take it , i knew i had to risk it all for her, praying that when i got back she still would love me and still be waiting for me.

I was watching her sleep, her lips pressed together lightly and her tiny body wrapped around mine. She was so such thinner than before, i could only notice it know, but theres something that still is the same and smells the same .

I bring my nose to her messy curls to smell that vanilla shampoo that she loves to use, i kiss very slow and light cause i didn't want to wake her up.She still smells like the same peach i was used to .I make my way slowly to the valley of her neck and press a light kiss there and than to her shoulder.

I feel her body tense under mine, making me stop at a rush. I didn't want to wake her from sleeping so soundly and peacefully . I tried moving away but my forearm was being pulled and wrapped around her waist again.

" Don't stop , please !" i hear her say under a warm tone and sounded somehow scared and hurt but was definitely asking for more.

" Whatever my Re wants !" i whisper very slowly in her ear. It wasn't a voice that wanted ti seduce her, it was a voice that wanted ti reassure her,a voice that wanted to be with her, just like the old days.

But it wasn't possible because i wasn't that Chris anymore...i could try but i don't now how much of that is left in me.Deep down i knew i was never gonna be good enough for a pure soul like hers but how could i live when even the thought of living reminded me of her .

What's the point of having everything when all you need is not with you ?

My fingers trailed up her face cleaning it from the hairs that had fallen there. Her eyes was still closed but she was awake under.

I kissed her cheek once , slowly her ear.. she took a deep breath..then slowing reaching her neckline , leaving an opened mouth kiss.I stared to go up again to her cheekbone...ah how i loved to kiss this women .

i was enjoying this more than i had ever enjoyed having sex in my life.With my other had that was wrapped around her torso, i was teasing her with some circles that i was doing , and it was working quite well since a low moan escaped her mouth.

"Are you going again?" she asked somehow scared of the outcome.

" Probably " i reply honestly, cause i know that eventually i would have ti go again. But when i wasn't sure.

" You told me you wouldn't leave again?"

" I lied " i replied still honestly , still my lips kissing ber body wherever they found some skin.

" You are the worst lier " she said with a chuckle .

"Why is that ?" i asked very much interested in what she was going to say.Now i was sitting almost on top of her watching as she still kept her eyes closed.

" People lie cause they don't want to hurt other people and keep it that way ,meanwhile you make me believe in your lie, make it seem so true so that when i find out whats going on its hurts even more."

" I keep hurting you Re !?"

" Its still bleeding inside ." she replies.

" Theres always a cure ?" i say and ver eyes slowly open just a little bit.