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TW: DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

"Syre, I'd like to talk about your mother

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"Syre, I'd like to talk about your mother." Dr. Evans spoke with hope. I could hear it in his tone.

Yet I rolled my eyes and sunk into the chair. She's the last person I wanted to discuss.

"For what?"

"You have to get these things off of your chest so you can move forward. Humor me?"

I took a deep inhale and release a heavy sigh, looking at him as he sat across from me.

"She was an abusive bitch who made it clear that she never wanted me in the first place. She starved me. She beat me. She raped me. Then she turned around and sold me off to other women who did the same." I looked him dead in his eyes. "Satisfied"

He placed his clipboard in his lap and sat up, resting his elbows into his legs to lean forward.

"Did she ever give you an excuse for why she treated you like that?"

"According to her, my father did it her. Whether or not I think that's the truth? Different story."

"Why are you suspicious of it?"

"Because it was easy for her to lie to you. Like breathing. She'd tell me she loved me and then she wouldn't feed me for days. She constantly told anyone who asked about bruises they saw on me, that I fell down. That I was a boy being a boy. A school nurse got curious as to why I was so thin, she told them "he's been refusing to eat because I took his games away" and every time...without fail...they believed her. There was never a second guess." I laughed. "Or maybe they just didn't want to be bothered with giving a shit about me."

He nodded and folded his hands together.

"Do you see the similarities from your mother to you?"

I screwed my face into a scowl and scoffed at his question.

"Fuck no. I'm nothing like her."

"If we are to believe that your mother was assaulted and because of that she bore a hatred for you, you are like her in ways you just haven't realized. Trauma sometimes manifests itself in coping. Most times by removing the trigger entirely or bringing harm to someone as means of releasing repressed anger. If your mother was being honest, you were her trigger." He paused. "Alexis is your trigger. She's bred from a traumatizing experience you suffered through. You reached your breaking point and you tried to kill Alexis. You released that anger the only way you saw fit. That didn't go as planned so now you've resorted to just completely ignoring her existence. You don't want to mention her. You hate when other people mention her. You have to confront how you feel about these things, Syre. Or the cycle of abuse will only continue, you're doing the same thing with Alexis. She didn't ask for any of this to happen, she's a product of assault. Just like you."

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