Loving Mother 💠[2] Delilah-Jo Voight

Broken

Justin survived a week before his heart gave out. Jay spoke to DelilahJo and they both made the heartbreaking decision to let him go if he gave that indication. They didn't want him in pain. They tried for fifteen minutes to get him back they would have tried longer but jay told them to stop. Even if they got him back he would have a life now anyways. He had to make the final decision to say goodbye. The had to tell them to stop. The guilt was crippling him. He knew his son was gone though. He knew his son was gone. He kept telling himself Justin was gone when he had the seizure. How could Justin be smiling and laughing with Lexi a week ago to now being gone.

Jay was a shell when he walked into his home. It wasn't until Aniyah ran colliding with his legs that he remembered they were there. He couldn't face DelilahJo and if he had remembered they were here he was sure he wouldn't have come. The guilt suffocated him when Lexi asked where Justin was. That combined with the guilt of having to decide to take her leg. "Daddy where's Justie" Aniyah asked after a moment of jay not answering Lexi. "Uh nowhere" everything was muffled he could see but not hear. He hadn't told anyone. He could feel Hank watching him.

DelilahJo was healing nicely she was up and walking but still in the icu. She couldn't walk far and was still healing. DelilahJo was currently leaning on a wall watching the world. The doctors encouraged her to stand as much as she could, which was rarely. April walked over to her standing beside her. "I have something to tell you" she said she felt bad but she needed to know. DelilahJo looked so happy. "It's about Justin" DelilahJo looked over at her "after the crash the kids weren't as ok as you were told but don't be angry doctors and nurses do it all the time to insure people heal in a timely manner...Justin he only had a broken ankle shattered hand he had surgery on his hand he was fine for weeks then suddenly yesterday morning as all the kids were ready to finally go home he collapsed having a seizure he had a seizure an aneurysm and a brain bleed the order those happened is unknown but brain bleed was the final result the activity on one side of his brain was gone and jay was told that he wouldn't be the same ever because of the damage...he was on a ventilator he had a an embolism due to how many tests he was constantly getting it's assumed when he was moved an unseen embolism became dislodged going to his heart it would have been small like not yet detectable but because he was moved hit dislodged and went to his heart as I said...normally one this small would do nothing but make a person tired but because his body had been through hell already this was a lot for his body. He had another seizure before his heart stopped they tried Lilah tried for fifteen minutes or something to bring he back before jay told them to stop" DelilahJo felt her world crack. Her boy her baby boy gone. She cried clutching April. Sure her and jay had off hand comments about never keeping themselves or there kids on a ventilator or keep trying. It was a conversation that happened with alcohol starting in with talking about him because of his line of work and somehow just ended with talking about there kids as well. Truth be told neither ever imagined this would happen. In fact she always imagined she would hurry her dad and jay before any of her kids again because of their job. "I know it hurts so incredibly much but I really need you to take a deep breath and be present with where you are your in the icu if you get caught up in it you might risk your health you have four other children not saying they are more important but they need you" April said "my babies" DelilahJo mumbled out if she hadn't of been leaning against her, April would have missed it. "Alvin is fine he only had a cut on his hairline...Aniyah had surgery but only has a tiny scar now you wouldn't know anything happened to her or Alvin. Millie broke a lot of bones legs in a cast opposite arm collar bone she can't walk but she's still her bubbly self and Lexi Rose" April could see her somewhat relaxing as she spoke "now she was in a coma had surgery had to have her leg cut off but even she's doing great" she wasn't about to tell her all the horrible details of how Lexi rose was struggling or how none of the kids were really themselves. Little lies right now. "I'll call your dad I'm pretty sure his with them" "Jay" "I don't know where he is I'll get Will to call him I doubt he'll answer my calls" April said helping her sit down.

"What happened" Hank asks jay had basically resided to holding a content Lexi Rose as they lie on the bed. "Justin" Jay shook his head and Hank knew. Jay sighs rubbing his face looking at Lexi who was sleeping against him. "I don't know how to tell them tell her and Niyah am I horrible for thinking even for a spit second that I wish it was her....I love her she's our baby if it was her I know it would hurt just as bad" "your grieving she's your adopted daughter think you would be a little crazy to not for a second to think like that" "Dede wouldn't" "my daughter is an extraordinary loving person who treats everyone the same no one is like her...you don't wish it, it was a moment of grief you wanting your son back you wouldn't trade her for him Delilah has thought of the two of us dying and what she and the kids would do to survive shes thought of Kelly dying and i can guarantee she wished one of us died instead" "different than wishing it upon your own kid" Jay sighs. Not only was jay feeling guilty about Lexi loosing a leg, them stopping to revive Justin and as well wishing Aniyah died instead. He knew he would wish someone else died if she died and would be feeling just as bad.