Loving Mother 💠[2] Delilah-Jo Voight

A loss

I sent Kelly a message to come over knowing he was off, he had Alvin tonight. I also sent April a message but given I never heard back from her I'm going to assume she's working. I bounce Caleb as he cries. "I know I feel like crying all the time" I said staring at the plants trying my hardest not to cry, baby feels your feelings and all that. "What's going it sounds like someone is being murdered" Kelly said walking over taking Caleb from my arms "so your the newest been waiting to meet from you and also hear from you our son has been telling me everything" "not everything" I said the tears I had finally dripping. "Talk to me" "I miss him so much I can barely let go of them of him because I'm terrified" "you talk to Jay about this" he asks bouncing my son who was falling asleep in his arms "we talk long enough to say I love you and share a kiss beyond that nothing" "Lily you have to talk to someone before this gets bad" I stare at him "I'm talking to you" "this is the first time since everything that we've spoken and now you have jays kid living here how's that going" I remain silent "it's already starting isn't it" I sigh "I I can't leave my kids" "Jay will probably try get you for kidnapping if you did" he joked making me wonder if Jay would. We hadn't been talking much. "Adam thinks we need to break up said i deserved better" "you do this is only going to make it worse having Jay bring a kid into the home" "I have Caleb and Alvin it's only right" "Alvin has been here since he was born and it's your house" "we are married Kelly what's mine is his" "he see it the same way" I remain silent not knowing anymore. "He blames me for the accident" Kelly scoffs rocking Caleb. "Everyone knows it not your fault" "Justin" I said my heart hammering in my chest the weight almost suffocating me. "Did you grieve" "yeah" "Lilly when I say this please don't take it the wrong way but I think you've been distracting yourself with him and taking care of your kids does Jay help" "he does" I nod "does he" he questioned "yeah even said he could have made breakfast this morning" "you wake up two hours earlier than you have to does he ever get up earlier than he has to to help the kids" "he helped Aniyah change today she dressed in this tutu skirt and sparkles and all different bright colours" "what about Luis where was he" "sitting down I gave him breakfast he was eating" "that doesn't sound like Jay was doing much you had to get his kid breakfast" April said walking in "sorry I just finished a shift" she adds smiling "so you two are having problems" "he blames me for Justin dying and now with Luis" i said they look at each other.

The two had long since gone leaving me alone with Caleb again. I loved him so I didn't mind much I was just lonely. Caleb couldn't exactly talk back. "Mum" MillieFlorence said skipping in hugging me "we are learning about plants their biology and general makeup" she said excitedly making me smile I notice Lexi rose talking to Jay with Luis beside them. They hadn't even noticed I was in the room.

"Why aren't you and mum talking" I could hear MillieFlorence asking Jay down the hall. "We are talking" Jay said like our child isn't one of the smartest people he knows "is it because of the accident or Caleb because if she can forgive you for Luis than maybe forgive her why is he even here" she ranted "Millie" he snapped "I wish you would just leave you barely talk to me anymore and you make mum sad Vinny was right" she adds then I hear a door slam. I sigh as Caleb flinches and begins with to cry. I sat on the rocking chair with him in my arms. I didn't know what to do I wanted to take my kids and run. But I loved Jay I couldn't just leave. "Hey Millie is" Jay began before looking at Caleb "I'll go put Aniyah to bed" he said leaving quickly. I sigh holding him close. My miracle baby.

"Hey uh I'm going into the office paperwork I'll be back" he said making me nod he didn't say anything else just leaving. No more I love you, no more kiss. Am I reading too much into it. Is my mind wondering because people put ideas in my head.