Loving Mother 💠[2] Delilah-Jo Voight

A new pain normal

It was been four months since Justin died. DelilahJo was out of hospital at home healing. The funeral had past but all of the Halstead/Severide household couldn't remember it. They know it happened but the painful memories long since gone. Now all that lingered were painful photos of what's lost. Aniyah asking for Justin daily, the young girl barely understanding death. Alvin Benjamin not wanting to come home but he sucked it up being Lexi's shadow. Alvin never lost his big brother attitude in fact it only got worse after Justin. MillieFlorence dove into her books further, she was always finding new books and learning new things. Lexi Rose well she wasn't the same then again none of them were. Lexi Rose lost her twin in all aspects her other half, they may have been polar opposites but that didn't made. Justin's door remained closed no one went in or out. DelilahJo and Jay barely spoke, beyond cuddling they were just existing keeping their remaining kids alive. Everyone but DelilahJo was back at work or school.

Jay was a mess. The team needed him to do something. Something that he didn't want to. Something that would put his marriage at risk. "Dede" he said sighing making he stop "the team the uh" "need you to seduce Camilla my father called think he thought you wouldn't tell me given you didn't tell me last time" "it's not going to be like last time" "we just...we just said goodbye to our son I don't think I could" "hey I know" he said standing in front of her, he had his hands on her hips. "I almost lost you forever once and missed Moon growing up I'm not going to risk that" "I trust you pretty sure my brother would call me crazy but I do" DelilahJo said.

"Daniel wants to live with you" Olive said scaring the crap DelilahJo. "He hates me" "what do you want Olive you don't like me and honestly I just lost my son so I'm a bit of a mess and don't have the patience for any of this" DelilahJo said, all Delilah could think about right now was that her husband the man she loves more than anything was seducing the woman he cheated with. If she wasn't focusing on that it was how broken hearted she was. "Can Daniel live with you" "if that's what he wants than sure" DelilahJo shrugged. It baffled her that Olive even suggested this. She just buried a baby how can she even think about adding Daniel to the mix. "I have to go" DelilahJo rushed away leaving Olive stunned.

She stood by Erin who at this point should probably just move back. "Why doesn't Danny live with me and Hank for a few weeks" DelilahJo shrugged "honestly since her crazy husband died she has become crazy" Erin said her arm around DelilahJos shoulder. Erin follows DelilahJo into the Nicu smiling at the little baby. "His growing" DelilahJo just nods "is he Adams" Erin asks the fated question "he has an anomaly on his dna or something from what I know one test it didn't match the other it did and then Adam told them to stop trying because he was so small and already fighting for his life" "but now his six month old and seemingly" "normal because of his birth and all the trauma he has problems heart problems brain problems right now it is unknown the full extent is unknown the same way we don't know if the trauma of the crash and birth caused them or if he would have them regardless" "does he have a name I know Alvin has been calling him Ace" "my child isn't being called ace maybe a nickname but that's it....his name is Caleb AdamJay Ruzek" "his adorable" "his keeping me going" DelilahJo shrugged as Adam walked in. Erin's phone went off forcing her to leave the room unable to miss the call.

"How are you doing Jay" Adam asks "is seducing the woman he cheated on me with" i said bluntly my eyes not leaving my wiggly son "yeah" Adam sighed "what are you doing here" "he had a few tests this morning" "I didn't" "it ok I was here brain activity test thing a few things were abnormal which they are going to check again in a few hours if it's the same they will scan...he had blood test and pressure tests all relating to the heart but his ok right now" I nod. My little baby already having had open heart surgery. The scar on his chest prominent. "You know jay won't cheat again right" "I did with you" I snap "he knows that you weren't in any capacity to consent" "neither were you that doesn't change we made a baby that night" "don't let your guilt suffocate you and give him a pass" "as he said after me and you we both screwed up clean slate we said our vows we recommitted" "he will have life long problems" "we'll figure it out" Adam assured making me nod "what would our lives look like if we actually got together" "as much as I would have loved that at one point you loved jay way to much to give up on him" I sigh knowing it was true. "Do you think he will" "do you trust him" "yes but with her I don't know I didn't know I would have to go through this...I remember it all like it was yesterday it was eleven years ago eleven a whole lifetime ago...I only had moon then I was considering becoming a cop we were in New York" "I remember" "it was so simple but it's also something I wouldn't go back to..it was so so painful yeah I had all these amazing things and opportunities but I was broken" I said beginning to walk with him down the hall. "Coffee" I nod following him "don't you have to go back to work" "no not yet" he assured making me nod.

"His with her now isn't he" "yeah" I nod staying silent "how are the kids" "well Alvin hates being at home but does for Lexi Rose who isn't ok and probably never be. Moon is learning something new everyday while in her jungle of a room. Niyah is a goofball who I'm positive doesn't understand the gravity of the situation..Olive was asking if Daniel can move in" "you just buried Justin is she crazy" "that's what I'm wondering" I mumble "how's Kelly and Stella" "you asking cause you want to know" "I'm asking because I love you and Alvin I love all you kids not just exclusively Alvin" I giggle "well alvin is a tricky kid to get you know this Stella was just getting to know him when this all happened his been annoying to Kelly to but the perfect kid for me" "doesn't surprise me" he mused sipping his coffee "it's harder now because he just lost his brother so" "you got to be careful" "not me but Stella because his not a second chance type of kid" "so no second chance if jay fucks this up" "nope moons becoming like that and we know Lexi is like that...moons just realising life is so short" he nods "maybe we can all have dinner I bring Kim and Mak" "you sure you want to deal with all my kids" "the perfect distraction" he shrugged making me nod. "Besides your kinda stuck with us now us sharing Caleb and all" "how does jay feel about that" "don't think he really addressed it...he was all uh I forgive you I know what you felt like that messed me up him forgiving me I had only just moved back after staying with Luke" "did you actually move out" "I think we are referring to it as a holiday with my cousin" I said before taking a sip of my coffee "then the crash and he kinda just ignored the baby because our kids were in a bad way" "you were to" I nod "now I don't know" I shrug.