Three against the world

62

Rick pov

"So you're stalking her now?" I flinched and turned to see Michonne, it's been a few days since Negan held us in the forest and threatened to kill a few of us unless we gave him half our stuff "no" I rubbed my eyes and pinched the bride of my nose "she's your wife Rick, just go up and talk to her" Michonne came up and stood beside me "I can't" she huffed and it looked like she was ready to drag me to y/n by my ear "why?"

"I just" I sighed "I'm mad, more than mad, I'm pissed, disappointed and frustrated I'm afraid how I'll react when I go over to her, I just, need a few days to simmer down and think properly" we watched as y/n talked to a few people about something, though we were to far away to tell what they are saying "you're afraid you can't control your anger" I nodded and rested my hands on my hips "before this, and long before y/n and Lori, I was seeing someone about anger management, I didn't tell y/n, I think Lori figured it out, I was never good at holding back as a kid, it got better as I talked to someone but I guess the way things have been going lately have been triggering somethings"

Michonne looked at me with raised brow "So the times you just up and left when you were mad, was because you were scared of yourself and your reaction?" y/n had moved to sit with Carl and Enid "it's an excuse I know but, I used to lash out as a kid and I'm afraid that's coming back" I made a few hand gestures, I didn't know what I was doing, I only ever talked to my therapist about this stuff.

"Than you need to tell her, she has no idea what's going on Rick" I looked at Michonne as she tossed an apple from one hand to the other "it is an excuse but some men wouldn't have walked away and taken their anger out on their partner" there was something in her eyes that told me that happened to her or she saw it first hand "but you can't just walk away, it's weakening your soulmate bond she probably thinks your going to leave her or something" I didn't even think that "I will just need a few days to get my thought in order and I'll tell her everything" Michonne pat my shoulder "you had a few days" she gave me the stern mom look I didn't even know she had "yeah I know, besides I'm pretty sure she will kick my ass if I tried to hit her" Michonne chucked and nodded "maybe, but don't count on it. even with her training she couldn't take on Negan"

"What do you mean she couldn't take on Negan" she made a face and groaned, "I promised not to tell you, but Negan beat the crap out of her in the RV" I wanted nothing more than to march into the sanctuary and blow his brains out but I couldn't "just, talk to her, I'm tired of being in the middle whenever the three of you fight. And stop walking away" she turned on her heel and left. She was right and the way she emphasized the word 'stop' I knew I had to, Daryl was gone and we really needed each other right now.

I watched y/n walk into the house and followed after her, everyone was out so we could have a long chat about everything. Wiping the sweat from my brow I walked across the street and to the house, I passed Carl and patted his shoulder and gave him a small nod before walking inside. The shower was already running when I got into the house so I thought I'd wait in the bedroom for her but when I walked past the open bathroom door I froze, she was covered in bruises, her ribs looked painful and the black bruise on her side was concerning, I didn't realize my jaw was dropped until she closed the door in my face. I waited outside the bathroom leaning on the wall across from the closed door, god I'm such an idiot I mentally scolded myself and I'm realizing just how terrible my actions really were.

The door swung open no more than five minutes later "y/n" I was concerned and extremely guilty for how I've been treating her lately. "Is something wrong, do you need my help?" she asked and I sighed, following her to the bedroom. "Why- did Negan" my words trailed off. I didn't want to say it. I felt sick to my stomach just seeing those bruises on her body but I had to know "he hurt me Rick, that's it" I breathed a sigh of relief, I had thought the worst with how long they were gone, I watched her drop the towel a few drops of water ran down her spine from her hair and if she wasn't hurt I'd admire how beautiful her body looked fresh from the shower — scratch that, I was admiring her, the curve of her back, her hips, my eyes trailed past the bruises and over her body that was more full than she was before the pregnancies.

I couldn't help it and I reached my hand out and my fingers caressed the black bruise on her side "Rick" her voice was a whisper but there was need and sternness in her voice, I knew I should stop and talk it out but seeing her like that just made me feel some were between turned on and pissed off.

My hand slid around to her stomach as I kissed her shoulder and pulled her back to my chest, she still had some of a belly from the twins and I found it quite sexy, my hand gave it a little squeeze as I peppered her neck with kisses "Rick, this problem can't be solved with sex" I sighed and stopped myself, resting my forehead on her shoulder giving her soft belly another squeeze. "No it can't"

We stayed like that for a minute of silence taking over the room and I finally asked the question I wanted to ask since that night "did-" I cleared my throat, it was closing with how sad I was about it "did you mean it". My brows furrowed almost like I was preparing myself for her answer "what you said to Negan, did you mean it?"

She turned in my arms and cupped my face, her thumb caressing the week old stubble "no baby, I would never" I could tell from her eyes that there was something she was holding back "than-" I put my forehead on hers putting my other hand on the other side of her waist "there was a time, a few times" she started to admit "that I thought the three of you would be better off" my hands squeezed her waist, I hated hearing this but we had to talk "but it was only for a moment, just so the three of you didn't have to starve for days or kill a living person for your next meal, I'm sorry"

I lifted my head from hers and placed a kiss to her forehead, and brought her in for a hug with a hand on the back of her head keeping her head to my chest "the...the thought crossed my mind too, it's just" I buried my nose in her damp lavender smelling hair "when you told him that I...it felt like for a second you were serious" she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly "never" my thumb caressed her shoulder blade and the tender bruised skin "why didn't you tell me what Negan did" the hot breath from her sigh hit my chest "I don't know, I...I was mad he took Daryl, mad that you were avoiding me. I was mad at myself and thought I should suffer alone"

"I'm sorry for walking away" I pulled away and walked over to pick up her shirt and slipped it over her head "I shouldn't have and if you'll listen I'd like to tell you why I did" I helped her guide her arms into the armholes, she winced a few times "I will" her stomach growled "after we eat?" I chuckled at my girl and her food. I thought "spaghetti with beans?" A smile broke out on her face. "My favorite" we walked into the kitchen hand in hand and I pulled out the things to make her the strangest food combination I've ever seen her make and she's made some odd food pairings.