You've Got to Be Kidding Me (Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)

Chapter 63

*Four months later*

Sunday's POV

"Thanks mum" I grab a hold of the hot mug filled with tea. I give a quick blow and quickly sip the burning tea. We were outside in the back sitting on the patio, the same patio where I and Louis sat just with slight changes. I scold myself for thinking about him again. Buts it's all I've been doing every time my mind goes back to him. As if my whole life revolved around him but to be honest ever since he came in to my life he was on my mind all the time even when I really didn't like him. Should I be upset about that? That my life revolves around this one guy? Should I be humiliated? Is that insulting to me and women everywhere?

I don't know.

But all I do know is that I want him here right beside me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" My mother's soothing voice asked.

"Just thinking" I've told my mum enough for her to understand what's going on. Louis' mother also knows what happened but hasn't said anything, I know she's spoken to my mother but they never told me anything or hinted towards anything. From what I can tell is that my mother is not upset but just disappointed with Louis. I internally scoff, that's great I know how my mother feels but I don't even know how I feel. For a while now I've been trying to figure out what I wanted and I drew a blank, I guess I'm still not ready.

"Sometimes thinking can get deadly, well, it can sure feel that way." You're telling me I thought to myself as my mother spoke. "But remember that whatever we think about has to be very important for us to feel that way."

Her words hit me. They make me rethink the situation but I don't need to do that to already know if my situation is important or not.

"I just don't know what to do" I have been wondering for so long if I waited long enough if I had enough time to breathe. I don't know if that is mean 'yes' or if I'm being impatient.

"Sometimes the answer isn't in front of us, sometimes we need to venture out or take risk to find out what we really want."

My mother's thoughtful words haunt me as I walk over to Maria's. I haven't seen her for a long time, she heard that I got back and wanted me to visit. Of course I said yes, she doesn't know why I'm back but she'll find out soon enough.  When I was on tour my mother checked up on her and Keith, losing their only child took a big toll on them. My mother later explained to me why they were in the area that night.

Apparently Keith had a business trip and took Maria along. One of Rimmie's' friends named Ray called Maria a couple of times but she didn't answer it was then that the police called her explaining that her son was in the hospital. She didn't tell her husband anything until the announcement of Rimmie's death. I felt truly sorry for the both of them to go through so much like that. My mother told me once on a phone call that Keith has started to shelter himself in, as if he was a robot only going to work and then coming home. It pained me to think that this is what has become from a kind hearted man who was so open and loving.

I reach the door and give it a short knock.

When the door opened I smiled. "Hey Maria"

"Sunday, how are you doing? Come on in." She said inviting me inside.  I followed her to their living room. I sat down  on one of the couches, the last time I came here I had a fight with Rimmie a few steps away from me to the left is where he kissed me. I shake the bad memory away and try to think of the good ones, the ones where I didn't feel so bitter. As I do many memories flow back to me, this room was full of laughter and mischief. And that was the only way to describe Rimmie. Now that I bring back memories my eyes begin to well up, I really miss him.