Only love forms the masters | FireGhoulxReader

Chapter 37

It was still raining very hard as you  were running home. You were glad that you finally, between all the trees, already saw the lights of the church.

Arrived at the church, your clothes dripped that you did not dare to go into the church to make everything wet. You just looked at Air as you had the same idea. You took off your clothes and then squeezed them as best you could to get enough water out as you walked through the church in your underwear afterwards. You met Swiss on the way to your room, who only whistled romantically, which made you laugh.

You directly put on something cozy, because it was just damn cold for you, while Air put on short clothes.

Without you even having a chance, Air took you again just as you were finishing getting dressed. It wasn't until you were in the dining hall that she let go of you again. Since you were pretty early for dinner, you were one of the first to get something to eat.

You were sitting alone at the table when more and more of your gang joined you until the table was full. All the time you were not so talkative. After what happened, today you took the passive part and just listened to the conversations.

*Aice's pov*
In winter you started to prepare the wedding for Mountain and Cirrus. The wedding should take place in spring, so that they don't have any stress with the baby, which should come in summer. The wedding should be similar to the wedding of Fire and you, except that it probably won't be so drawn out, there won't be any alcohol and it will be a bit quieter.

It was actually really fun to plan another wedding like that. You were a little bit the manager of the whole thing, because you have really good experience in it now.

Cirrus was really grateful to you, because she had very little time and energy because of the child.

You were totally confused when you saw Cirrus all the time. She was hardly unwell and had no other problems. It was just a normal Cirrus with a thickening belly. Before, when you were still human and young, you always thought that pregnant women are totally exhausting. They cry or laugh all the time and in the breaks they throw up. You also thought that they can't do anything on their own and someone always has to run after them. Well, guess not.

You were just happy that things were going so well for Cirrus and Mountain. It was also heartwarming to see Cirrus' belly getting bigger and Mountain being so proud of it. But it was also a huge pain in your hearts at the same time.

After the thing between Fire and you about the child, you told few in the church. It was never a real topic of conversation and everyone just had eyes for Cirrus' belly.

The first one to approach you after the incident was Cirrus. After a good week she asked you how you were doing at the moment, since you seemed to be so upset. Only when you thought about it, tears started to fall.

You were going to talk about it in the garden when Sunshine and Cumulus bumped into you and saw you half crying, of which they were immediately worried and also interested in what happened. You then told them alone, when it all hurt them very much that you had to endure something like that. Your heart bumped faster about how much they cared for you and were there for you. You knew that Fire was there for you, too, but just confiding in your closest friends was what you needed mentally right now, because they understand you on another level, like Fire.

Long after the conversation, you still doubted it. So many times, when you were alone, you were lost in thought. Over and over, you imagined what it might be like if Fire and you had a child. At some point, you also felt like he got over the whole kid thing super fast and didn't want to have anything to do with it at all. So many times you actually wanted to go back to him to just cry in his chest, but you kept pulling back. You just didn't want to bother him with it.

There was a strange ache in your heart that you won't have the opportunity. Who knows if you even wanted to have a child. Just not being able to do it now, whether you wanted to or not, was just depressing.

At night you often dreamed of surprising Fire by giving him the positive test and he was happy about it. You would wake up crying and be depressed about it all day, that at some point you didn't feel like going to sleep anymore. You just knew that it would start all over again and it would be shitty again.

You used to see a flame in Fire, which reflected his desire to have children. This flame became smaller and smaller, while you couldn't do anything about it and already felt how it would soon go out.

You somehow realized that you could somehow satisfy your flame only in Cirrus' child.

You wanted to tell Cirrus, that her child might be very important to you, but you thought you sounded miffed and so uncomfortable asking her. You eventually got over yourself and told her. You just couldn't go on living in that awkwardness when you looked Cirrus in the eye.

She just understood you without any questions and could conclude and understand it without any problems, from which tears came to your eyes again. Your body was already so tense that you were prepared for the worst reaction. You cried out all the tension in Cirrus' arm as she stroked your back.

You were really grateful that your girls didn't tell Fire about it. They also noticed yourself that although he was happy for Cirrus and Mountain, at the same time he was forced to say it. The connection between Fire and you was also just weird right now. You still love each other and you didn't question it, but after that you didn't sleep together even once, at night he rather lay alone in bed and the way he is holding you now, it just wasn't the same as it used to be.