PrimRose

39. Little Soldier

I stepped out of the car even before Dan properly parked the car. I slammed the door shut and walked towards the porch. My head throbbed from stressing about my friends. All I wanted was to hit my bed and never wake up. Sleep forever and not bother anyone with my existence. Things were always tense at home. I avoided everyone, including GG. I was not being fair to her but I needed time and space to myself.

I noticed mom's office car in the driveway. She was home.
I walked into the lounge and met Ekaette, she was about leaving the house.
I merely muttered a greeting before walking past her in a blur.

I climbed up the stairs and went to change out of my uniform.
The house was surprisingly quiet. Too quiet for what I was used to around this time of the day.

I left my room in search of whoever was home with me.
“Mom,” I called but there was no response. “GG,” I called and was met with yet again with silence.

I went to GG's room and she was taking a nap. I quietly shut the door and went to mom's room.
“Mom. Shawn,” I called but the was no response. I was getting really scared by this. I knocked and pushed the door. “Mom,” I called one last time and went to their bathroom.

Mom stood frozen at a spot. She was looking at a pregnancy test kit weirdly. Her face said it all. It was a positive.

She looked up at me in surprise, “Rhys.”

I pulled my lips in a thin line, “I'm sorry to have barged in. I was calling and you weren't answering so I was worried,” I rattled off in one breath.

Mom sighed and gave me a small smile. “Sweetie, it's fine really. I was just lost in my own world I guess.”

I gulped before asking. I glanced at the stick in her hand then looked at her face, “So is it positive?”

She shook her head. “It could be a false positive,” she said uncertainly.

Denial. She was in denial. Was this how she felt when she had me? She didn't want the baby, that was why she was in denial.

I glanced at the sink behind her. About three other sticks were there.
She followed my line of sight.

“These things happen,” she tried to defend.

“You just need time to yourself,” I said and walked out.

I went back to my room and I heard a knock on my door shortly after. I sighed when I saw GG walking in while rubbing her right eye. She always looked so adorable. I couldn't help but just smile at her.

She stood in front of me with teary eyes.

“What's wrong, pumpkin?” I asked in concern.

She held my hand and dragged me to the bed. She crawled on it all by herself. I joined her on the bed and she snuggled into me.

I gently stroked her hair waiting for her to get settled. “What is wrong?” I asked again.

“I had a bad ream. A really bad one. I dreamt that you left. You left me,” she held me even more firmly.

I continued stroking her hair, “I would never leave you, no matter what. I promise you,” I assured her.

Gradually she drifted off into sleep. I stayed awake feeling unsettled. I watched her sleep since I was unable to get some sleep myself.

A little over an hour later, she stirred in her sleep and yawned lazily.

“Rhys?” she called softly.

“Mmh?” I responded, opening my eyes slowly. I did not even realize that I was feeling sleepy or slept at any point. “Do you need something?”

“I’m hungry,” she told me.

I glanced at my alarm clock. “Dinner should be ready in about half an hour. Let's go and help mum in the kitchen,” I said and got up from the bed.

We had slept for almost three hours. It didn't feel like it. I still felt exhausted like I hadn't got even a wink of sleep.

We went downstairs to help mum but she was almost done with dinner already. We had an early dinner which was very weird. The conversation with mum earlier that day still hovered in the air. Shawn's presence usually helped to douse the tension between us but he was absent from dinner that evening.

After dinner, I helped mum clear the table and wash the dishes. GG went to stay with mum in her room while I went to mine. I grabbed my phone from the bed and caught something peeking out of my old backpack. I pulled out my sketch pad.

I sighed and sat down. Just flipping through the pages. I used to pour out my heart into my sketches, I used to love drawing so much but I couldn't even properly hold a pencil these days.

I plugged in my headset and sat down at my reading table to just draw. To just express the chaos going on inside of my head. I was at it for a really long time without realizing it until I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

I looked up at Shawn and took off my headphones. He looked a little tired yet he had a smile on his face.

“Hi. I didn't know when you came in,” I said.

“I noticed,” he said with a shrug. “I haven't seen you sketch in quite a while,” he nodded towards my sketchpad.

“I haven't really been in the mood for it,” I told him. “Have you had dinner? Should I get you something to eat?”

“Don't worry. I already have,” he said and walked to my bed and sat down at the edge. I pushed my sketchpad aside and turned my chair to face him. He had been so busy those past few days that we barely had time to talk. “You've been more withdrawn these days. Especially since your suspension,” he said.

I was silent. I didn't know what to say. I didn't have a particular reason for being withdrawn and angry with everyone.
I just felt so pathetic and angry with myself. I couldn't understand why I felt those emotions but I just felt them.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he probed softly.

He gave me time to think. Time to decide whether or not I wanted to really talk.

“I am always here to listen,” he added.

We stayed like that for some time. I tried to open my mouth and speak but I couldn't say anything. I wanted to tell him but there were so many words in my head. I wanted so badly to tell him but the words got in my way. The words were there on the tip of my tongue, my heart was so full and my brain just got numb.

I looked at him helplessly with tears in my eyes.

“Let me tell you something,” he said after watching me struggle. “Life is not always a bed of roses. Life doesn't care if you're a child or a teen or an adult. Shit happens, Rhys. It always will. That's life. You just need to grow stronger and keep pushing.

“Your life will not always be under your control but you will get through it just fine. Everything is going to be alright. It may not look like it. Things may even get worse from here but everything will be alright, eventually. Straighten up little soldier. We will get through it together.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks while he spoke. He always knew what to say.

“Goodnight, sweetie,” he got up, kissed my forehead and left me all to myself.

The tears continued to roll down my face. I just climbed my bed and cried myself to sleep.

A/N

This chapter came out from my heart 😂😂. Seriously, it did.
I wrote it when I was feeling really down. Rhys' emotions were partly my emotions.

Fun Fact

1) When Shawn told Rhys that he was always there to listen, the 3rd, 4th and 5th lines of the next paragraph were actually inspired from a musical I watched years ago. Lovestruck: The musical (2013).

2) I had to listen to Mockingbird by Eminem on repeat to write Shawn's words of advice to Rhys.

Ain't I the best? 😂😂🤗

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