Finding Love Again

I and Him, We

Bree POV

We went to bed together, he was holding me tight as if there was a chance I'd run away the moment he let go.

I didn't really know how to feel about this Karine, I know he didn't initiate but I think I wished he told me sooner and not in this way but for now I decided let it be. Can't deal with trust issues now.

Yan and I cuddled with each other until we fell asleep but it was hard because feeling his body so close to mine like that made me feel warm inside, my lady parts couldn't comprehend that we were not gonna get stretched tonight as much as I would have loved to give in and let her and I enjoy him; sex was the last thing for us now.

I woke up to an empty bed, it felt disappointing at first cause I had fully enjoy my human pillow last night, turned out he was very comfortable to lay on, he did everything to accommodate me, I pushed him few times but he found his way back every time and hold dearly which ended in us finding a position that was made for us where I felt utterly comfortable.

I was contemplating standing up and getting ready but I just felt lazy, like everything was in slow motion, I didn't know why but I felt empty, maybe if my girls, my babies were here I'd feel a sense of purpose but this morning nothing seemed enough to give me strength.

"Bonjour mon amour, comment as-tu dormi ? Comment te sens-tu ce matin?" (Good morning my love, how did you sleep? How do you feel this morning?)

Yan seemed in a very good mood as he entered the bedroom with breakfast in his hands, the platter seemed full and the smell was inviting.

I didn't know what to say, I looked at him and it seemed that he saw something disturbing cause he left the plater by the entry table and immediately rushed to me, "what is wrong babe?"

"I feel empty, like I am out of energy, I ..." the words came out softly as much as I didn't want to make things bad it felt my mind had taken over and refused to keep my feelings bottled inside; in my head I was repeating to myself we are on a relationship I should feel safe to share.

He joined me in bed, he pushed me a little in front so he could slide behind me and wrap his arms around me, his warmth was somehow comforting.

He started speaking "I'm sorry you know, I should have told you the moment we came back, I was afraid that you'd leave me... if I'm honest I've never been in a situation where I have to be accountable..."

I interrupted him "I have trust issues Yohann, I am divorced and you know that if you could stop toying with me, if you could just let it flow simply... I have children and I'm not interested into dating multiple people let alone a man with an indecisive attitude. I want to trust you and just be free to, to love you without imagining the worst."

He kissed my neck small kisses while whispering how sorry he was and how he was only clumsy because he's never been that much in love but he promised to do better because I'm the best thing to have happened to him.

"I can't wait for you and the girls to move in with me, I want us to be a proper family one day."

His arms and legs were keeping me tightly in place close to him, I couldn't escape even if I wanted to, his slow kisses on my neck were getting to me but somewhere my paranoid thoughts kept whispering that he was using sex to silence me but was he though?!

"Can you let me go bath before you eat me alive" that's the best thing I could say to try and delay the inevitable outcome of his ministration, I was out of 'no' my undies were moist and core was more than ready for him at every gentle kiss and sweet nothings he gave me.

"I want to eat you now my love, I will personally clean you myself after I'm done"

"Don't be disgusting Yan, I just woke up, I have morning breath while you have bathed and brushed your teeth already. Let me brush at least."