Always, Love (girlxgirl)

Chapter 34

"I'm going to fucking kill her."

"Calm down please, it's okay."

She turned her head to look at me with a dumbfounded expression before throwing her head back with a sigh and placing her hands firmly on her hips.

"It's not okay. She just kissed you."

I sighed and grabbed her hand. "I made it very known on the drive back home that I was with you and that I'd appreciate if she'd stop flirting with me."

"This is exactly what worries me about her being alone with you. She's stubborn and relentless. She's in love with you, darling."

"I know."

I locked eyes with her and held the eye contact for a brief moment. It wasn't a hard sentiment to admit to. Dana was clearly still in love with me. I'm not stupid. The way she looks at me and the way she speaks to me is clear indication that she's still into me. Her eyes twinkle and sometimes her voice catches when she speaks to me. "I don't feel the same way that she does though", I added in. Jamie nodded and raised her hand to her forehead before beginning to massage her temples. A moment later she quickly dropped her arms and turned to face me again. "Okay", she stated.

"Okay?" I asked.

"Yes. Here is what we are going to do. We're going to forget about Dana. This is our last night together for a few days, and I refuse to let such a pest ruin it." She smiled and walked closer to me, grabbing my hand. "Give me an hour and then meet me at the entrance of the east garden. Make sure you go to the east garden, not west. The west garden is for food crop. East is the flower garden. Are we clear?"

My eyes must have been wide with surprise. I didn't expect such a change in mood from her. "Yes, of course", I responded.

"Good. I've been meaning to show you the garden. I don't suppose you have a green thumb?"

I chuckled. "Unfortunately, I have never successfully kept a plant alive. I drowned my last castus on accident. BUT, that means that I appreciate the skill that other people have to be able to nourish plants and maintain their beauty."

"Wow. You killed the unkillable."

"LISTEN, I'm great with kids. I'm just iffy on things without faces and skin and stuff", I defended.

"Well hopefully your future children will have all of those things", she laughed. My smile froze in place as I took in what she just said. 'Your future children'. I took a deep breath and was able to get out some words after what felt like an eternity.

"Yeah, haha. Well, I'm going to go um.. paint... in the art studio, so, see ya later!" I said enthusiastically as I slowly backed my way out of the room. I turned and began to walk away before I heard Jamie's voice.

"Hey, love", she called out.

I popped my head back into the room nervously. "Yes?"

"The art studio is the other way", she said as she pointed in the opposite direction.

"Right. I'm still getting used to this maze. I better get going", I smiled before walking away once again. I powerwalked until I reached a corner that I could hide behind. How could I be so stupid? I guess I was the only one imagining a future where me and Jamie could have possibly had a family together. her words stung more than they should've. I thought that she was the one. I was sure of it. But I don't know what I'd do if she didn't want a family with me. That's all I've ever wanted. A family of my own that I can put above all else and know that they'll do the same. I want to read my kids bedtime stories and ask them about what they learned at school. I want to build forts with them and push them on the swings. I want to fall asleep each night knowing that I am providing my children with all of the love and stability in the world. But that won't happen if they're just my kids. This is something that matters too much to me to be swept under the rug. I need to find a way to bring it up. I brought my hands up to my forehead and rubbed my temples before sliding down the wall. I knew exactly what I was going to do until the hour was up. I got myself together and made my way back downstairs, careful to not run into Jamie. The home theatre. I sure as hell didn't know where the art studio was, but I knew where the theatre was. I'd be able to hide out there until it was time to meet Jamie at the east garden.