The Dark Pheonix

Summertime Sadness

The day of accident,
when Yoongi went back to the hospital again Jungkook's word were like a stab to him.
He wasn't wrong. Each of the words Jungkook spoke was truth but still it hurts.
He felt too much heavy, all the words he threw towards his siren suddenly started weighing him down.

What if inspite of telling him he will not never see his face again, he would jave just hugged him..
Will things turn out different then?

He took a sit at the wait area of the hospital excusing himself from everyone.
His heartbeat is erratic, his breathing irregular.
Tears are stinging the back of his eyes. It feels like a part of his soul has been ripped apart. It feels hauntingly empty, his insides are trembling. He grips the side of his chair, he feels like he is sinking in the cold waters.
He couldn't save his father, he died infront of his eyes, bleeded to death.
Maybe it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't save him too. He let him bleed there.
And now he couldn't save his siren.

He wasn't just his siren, he was the son of the person who saved his whole family, who saved him. The person who protected his family like a shadow. He promise he will take care of Jimin, protect him from everything.
Did he forget about his own promise???
Did he forget about his promise to his mom and Park Hye Soo???
Amidst everything when he doubted Jimin, did he forget that he swore to protect him?
How did he forget that????
Maybe he thought Jimin is enough capable of protecting himself.
The guilt settles heavy in his bones.

He did not notice when Seo Min Young sat in the chair beside him. He was gently pulled into a warm embrace, it didn't took a second to him to sense it's his mother.
She can be fierce woman, but to Yoongi she was always gentle.
She held Yoongi close, rubbing his back gently. His head rested on his mother's shoulders as he felt streams of tears running over his cheeks, he tried to muffle his sobs, he held his mother really close to him.

"Yoongi..." His mother called softly.
"You should meet him for the last time. The cremation needs to be done."

Yoongi held on his mother strongly, a fear creeping inside him that if he let go he will loose his mother too. Maybe his mother sensed that.
She said,
"It's okay Yoongi, I am here."

She pulled a little back. She cupped his cheeks, wiping the tears of with her thumb. Yoongi really felt vulnerable infront of his mother.
"Let's go...."

Yoongi held on the wrist of Seo Min Young, he is feeling like one more time and he will hit the bottom, he can't take anymore. He can't really do this.
"I can't." He whispered.
"I... I... I don't want to, Mom....."

Seeing him for the last time, will break him too bad. It will take away his every hope and his every belief from him. Maybe what he is doing is wrong but he doesn't care.
He will rather hold onto their last memory, his living face, his loving smile.
How much he tries he doesn't reach the grief inside him, he doesn't feel any of it. Neither his heart or mind is convinced about the fact that his siren is gone for a lifetime.
They are holding onto something, and Yoongi doesn't know why. And it's hurting him more.

Min Young looked at him skeptically, trying to understand his words. After a moment of silence she asks again,
"Are you sure???"

Yoongi nodded.
"Yes I am."

"Yoongi, are you sure you will not feel guilty about it??"

"I am already enough guilty." He pressed a small smile for his mother.
"I will rather choose not to believe it." He spoke.
He hoped his mother will understand.