Whisper of Virtouso (Love Material Series #2)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

I don't understand; it feels like I'm causing myself pain. I've said earlier to move forward and take the lesson  what Kerson and I share, but why? Why did I yield to him again? Why did I allow myself to be drawn back in?

Tanga ba talaga ako?

Maybe.

"Kenzo," I called out to him as we shared dinner.

"Hmm? Is your stomach hurting?" he asked, his concern evident.

I shook my head and reached for my glass, filled with milk. Kenzo always prepares milk for me during breakfast and dinner.

"Uhm. . . Gusto ko sana puntahan si Mama," mahinang saad ko.

Bigla siya napatigil sa pagnguya ng kaniyang pagkain. He looked at me silently. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tinatakbo ng isip niya.

"Ready ka na?" he smiled at me.

I smiled bitterly. Ready na nga ba ako?  Handa na ba ako? Handa ko na ba uli marinig ang masasakit niyang salita? Kaya ko na ba? Kaya ko na ba harapin si Mama? Kakayanin ko na ba saktan ako ni Mama?

"Siguro?" I laughed sarcastically. "Bahala na. Nami-miss ko na rin si Bryan at Mama, eh. . ."

He poured water into his glass and took a sip. He clicked his tongue against the side of his teeth.

"Okay lang sa 'kin, Lyy," he smiled at me, "Alam ko rin naman sobrang miss ka rin nila,"

Pumikit ako ng marahan at nagiisip. Sana totoo. . .sana totoong nami-miss nila ako.

Sana nga. Si Mama iyon, eh.

Our last conversation was while my belongings were being thrown on the street, and I was being kicked out. Until now, the pain lingers in my heart and mind. It seems like it won't go away; every detail is etched into me.

Pero okay lang. . .

Ganu'n siguro ang trato niya kung paano ako mahalin. Ganu'n siguro ang tanging daan niya para iparamdam ang pagmamahal niya sa akin. Ganu'n siguro.

Siguro 'yon ang kaya niyang gawin.

"Gusto mo sumama ako?" he asked.

Umiiling-iling lang ako bilang sagot.

"H'wag na. Uuwi rin naman ako rito," I responded.

Nagkunot-noo siya. Hindi ko mainitindihan kung ganito ba talaga ang tanginang kaibigan ko. Ang kulit!

"Sure ka? Paano kung saktan ka uli?" Nagaalala tanong niya.

"Eh 'di saktan niya 'ko. Nasanay na ako roon," natatawang sabi ko.

Tumayo si Kenzo at iniligpit niya ang pinagkainan na'ming dalawa at ramdam na ramdam ko ang mabigat niyang paghinga.

"Alyzza, iba ang sitwasyon mo noon, at ngayon. Noon, sinanay ka ni Tita na saktan ka pero. . .ngayon? Hindi p'wede. Hinding-hindi. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko kung may mangyari sa inaanak ko. Magpapakatatay pa ako r'yan, eh." Kenzo laughed softly as he cleaned our dining area.

"You're pregnant, Alyzza," He faced me, his words coming out gently from his lips.

"Ipapaalala ko lang sa'yo, magkakaroon ka nang anak. Ayoko maulit ang mangyari noon. Magiging Tito ako ng anak mo. Ituturing ko pang anak 'yan. Aalagaan ko pa parang ako ang tatay niyan,"

I smiled at him. I don't know why I have a friend like him. Do I deserve it?

I feel my heart melting because of his words. I can clearly see fear and concern in his eyes, and it warms my heart to have someone who cares this much.