Maddie's POV:
I've been avoiding Scarlett, Last night I went straight to bed and when she came in to say goodnight I just pretended to be asleep but tonight I don't think I can do the same considering we're going to grandma's house for dinner.
I'm currently sitting in chemistry contemplating my whole life decisions. When Miss Peter knocks on the door and asks for me.
Oh shit! what have I done now?
She walks me to her office and tells me sit on the chair in front of her.
"I just want to clarify to you before I start talking to you that your not in trouble" I nod my head. Thank God!
"I've noticed that you do much better on your exams than you do in class. You get high scores which ultimately can move you up a grade. However, due to your lack of attendance in class and your lack in concentration or participation, you can not move to a grade at your level of learning."
"I want to check on you and to make sure that everything is okay?" I just nod again.
"I'm going to be speaking to your mom about how we can work on improving your focus on class, so we can move you up. I want you to know that if you need anything you can always come here, even if you just need a quiet place to think" I nod my head. She lets me go back to my next class which just so happens to be the last lesson of the day. Thank God! This day has been dragging on for so long and I just want to go home and sleep. Oh and I can't even do that because a) I have to go to a dinner and b) I can't take my sleeping pulls before I eat and my dad will check on whether I've actually taken them.
I'm silent the whole car ride home, rose and Scarlett talk about stuff but I just ignore them. I catch Scarlett occasionally watching me but she doesn't try and talk to me luckily. I just need time to think.
When we get into the house, Scarlett tells us to go and get ready but I just sit on my bed. I can't be bothered getting changed. Max told me that there's a party tonight, so I might go there later after the dinner. I can't really avoid mum at the dinner because grandma will notice and then tell me to talk to her. But I don't know what to say. I blamed everything on her for so long when it wasn't even her fault.
I get called downstairs and I quickly grab my jacket and headphones before running downstairs. Rose follows behind me.
I put my headphones in the whole car home and just stare out of the window. A few houses already have Christmas decorations up which reminds me that Christmas is pretty soon and I'm not even in the mood. It's going to be my first Christmas in a while with Scarlett and It's going to be my first Christmas with Colin and rose. Fun!
Colin stops the car in the driveway and I get out, putting my headphones in my pocket with my phone. Rose runs up to me and grabs my hand.
"Sissy, sit next to me at the table" she asks me. I nod and smile at her.
Grandma pulls me in to a hug as soon as she stops greeting everyone else.
"How are you honey?"
"I'm okay" she nods and smiles at me. She also wraps her arm around my shoulder and takes me into the kitchen, telling me that I'm helping her with dinner.
By helping she means that she's going to be quizzing me and asking me questions.
"How are you actually feeling about everything? I haven't had chance to ask your mom considering she's avoiding me" I laugh at that because now I see where I get it from.
"I'm okay. Genuinely. Everything's fine" I lie. She nods and smiles. I think she can tell that I'm lying but if she can, she doesn't mention it anymore and instead talks to me about her garden and how she wants to get a greenhouse.
Scarlett walks onto the kitchen and grabs a drink.
"Ah there's my annoying daughter who thinks that it's a good idea to ignore her poor, old mother" grandma says hitting her head jokingly. Mum groans and rolls her eyes.
"That hurt mother and I'm not ignoring you, I've just been busy and your not that old" she says. Grandma hits her head again.
"Don't lie to me, I see where your daughter gets it from" she jokes at me. Oh she could tell that I was lying.
"I wasn't lying" I tell her but she just scoffs.
"Mhm whatever you say"
Me and mum share a look before grandma pushes us away saying that we're being 'no help'.
"She's very dramatic" mum complains as we walk into the dining room. I laugh and take my seat next to rose. Rose smiles up at me and shows me her colouring book. She's actually really good. Better than me probably. I don't have the patience for a colouring book, they're a bit boring for me.
I watch rose colour for a bit until I get a phone call from Becca. I leave the room and go sit on the bathroom floor before answering.
M:"Hello?"
B: "Hey honey. How you doing?"
Can everyone just stop asking me that.
M: "I'm okay"
B:"Mhm Charlie tells me that you and your mum have talked"
M:"Yep"
B:"And?"
M:"And what? It's not like you didn't already know"
Becca's silent for a few seconds before I hear her sighing.
B:"I did know Maddie, your right but you also know that it wasn't my place to tell you and as much as at first it was probably hard to hear that we all knew. You now realise that it wasn't our place to tell you and even though you want to be angry at us, you can't."
She's right as much as I hate that she's right, she is. I was angry at first that everyone knew and never told but I'm more angry with my dad.
He knew how much, growing up, that I needed her. How many times I had cried and cried just wanting my mama and yet he knew where she was and why I couldn't see her. Even worse he was the reason as to why I couldn't see her.
B:"I know that this is hard Maddie. But I don't want you to start going into panic mode because we know how that ends, you doing something stupid. Look, I think that you should try and talk to your dad about it all"
M: "I have Becca, I have and I'm not going to do anything stupid Becca because quite frankly I don't care. I don't care becca. I can't be bothered caring."
B:"But Maddie you do care. I know you do."
M:"Look Becca, I've got to go"I say before hanging up.
I don't want to do this anymore, I just want to go home and sleep. All of this shit that has happened this week, I just want to forget it, act like it never happened but I can't because it did happen and I can't do a thing about it.
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SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATES! BEEN A LITTLE BUSY WITH SCHOOL.
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