Trapped (Amorist Series #1)

Tribute Chapter I

This chapter is a special tribute to Melian. Note that it will be long and contain sensitive, mature scenes that may trigger the audience.

Readers' discretion is advised.

TW: Suic'dal Ideation.

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We never know what we have become, until we're told.

"How long has it been since you're irregular heart beat started?" The doctor asked.

Napaubo ako. Sobrang lamig naman ng opisina ni doc, kanina pa ako nanginginig! Napayakap ako sa sarili at inusisa ang paligid.

Ang lakas din maka-old fashion ni doc, aakalaing library ang opisina niya. Pero para akong lasing, umiikot ang paningin ko at ang bigat din ng ulo ko.

Kanina pa ako mag-isa rito sa hospital, hinihintay ang results ng pinaggagawa niya. Wala kasi akong matawagan at hindi ko naman masabi-sabi kay ate ang mga nangyayari sa buhay ko lalo na't may sarili na siyang pamilya.

We always had each other's back, and I relied on her most of the time, not until we got separated.

I don't even plan to go for this check-up because I'm scared of meeting strangers and being exposed in public, but I really need to.

Iba na kasi ang paraan ng pagkabog ng puso ko, nasusuka rin ako palagi, at higit sa lahat konting galaw ko lang ay hinihingal na ako.

"Ms. Aveño," he called.

Nahimasmasan ako. "Mag-iisang buwan na doc."

"Do you have a guardian with you? Relatives? A husband?" Sunod-sunod akong umiling.

"Matagal na nang pumanaw sila mommy, kung makatanong ka naman parang hindi mo alam 'yon. At nasa tamang edad na ako, kailangan ko pa ba no'n?"

"Hindi kita pwedeng biglain—"

"Ano ho ba 'yon?" Inip na tanong ko.

"I conducted a test to check your current state and from what I see in the results. . ." he inhaled as if he couldn't find his words.

He's been our family doctor ever since and is one of my godfathers. But when at work, he's a completely different person.

"The hole in your heart is getting worse."

Malakas na kumabog ang puso ko at kumirot. Hindi pwede 'to. . . ang bata ko pa. Bakit ang aga naman ata?

"Joke time ba 'to doc? Paano naging possible 'yan? E bata pa lang ako nang solusyunan mo. . ." hinubad niya ang salamin at napahilot sa sintido.

Tila naiiyak siya na para bang sinisisi ang sarili. I didn't mean what I said but he must've took it personally.

I bit the inside of my cheeks as I saw his teary-eye begging for me to be serious. Ayaw kong umiyak, ang damot naman ata sa 'kin ng mundo. Lahat na lang pagkakaitan ako.

Napaayos ako ng jacket at pilit na iniinda ang kirot na pumapalibot sa puso.

"Melian, listen. . ." he explained my heart condition.