My Living Nightmare Reincarnate

Became Broken

***

We got home and I instantly rushed out of my car, leaving her alone.

I didn't care if she'd run away, that's if she really tries. I don't give a shit about her anymore, I just want my brother back.. I want him to come back and give me a reason as to why he would leave me like that.

It's just like when we were kids.

He would leave me alone because he would have gotten the worst of the punishments. Taking the blame for everything cause he didn't want me to get beat.

Once he got beat so bad, he passed out for 2/½ hours. I thought he was dead.. we were both 10 years old.

Our mother was an abusive alcoholic and our dad was absent because of suicide.. me and my brother were to young to understand any of our mother's actions. She would blame my brother more. Even for things he didn't do but still take blame for. I think her reasoning was, because I look too much like our dad and she always treated our dad like a god.

That would leave me out of harms way but as for Tom, she hated him. She would blame Tom for our father's death. I would cry every night for him.. I hated seeing him in pain and be treated like that. He didn't deserve it.

What killed me even more inside was that.. I couldn't do anything about it. No matter how much I really wanted to just pack my things and take Tom with me, we didn't have anywhere else to go so that plan wouldn't have worked anyway, plus Tom felt bad for our mother so he wouldn't have the guts to actually leave her. Especially with me.

Our father owed some really dangerous people, money and he didn't have it in time, that's the reason he offed himself while we were gone.

Our mother thought it was because of her and Tom.. I don't know why Tom had the blame put on him. I would be more than okay taking his place. He wouldn't let me get in trouble for ANYTHING.

Like I said he would take the blame for everything, take the beatings, the manipulation. He wouldn't let our mother put hands on me, regardless of the punishment. That really hurt me.. more than actually getting beat.

Sometimes Tom couldn't protect me from our mothers hands.

Our childhood doesn't matter anymore, he left me. Our unbreakable bond, became broken.

I couldn't believe it. Was he actually leaving me for good?.. and never stepping foot back into my life. I was scared, alone.

When me and Tom were kids we got kidnapped by 3 men that were after our father.

They would separate us to whip us if we didn't abide by their rules.

Their rules were strict, if we didn't clean the floors perfectly the way they wanted they would whip us, shirtless. If we talked back, whipped, if we didn't make our beds, whipped. The list goes on.

Tom was the one always talking back, he would never cooperate with the men. It's like he wanted to push their buttons to see how far they would take their punishments.

They took their punishments far. Their punishments would be so terrible that they would end up killing someone.

That place was traumatizing, especially for two little kids. Again neither me or Tom could do anything about it. We had to suffer any and every consequence. Every torture mechanism you could think of, they used, not on us though. They used them on the older kids.

It was not a pleasant childhood for us, that's in the past now. We're in the present and I need to focus on things that aren't in the past. It's so hard not to. Cause everything in the present reminds me of the past, it's like I'm going in a complete circle..

I need to get my life back.

____

Tom's p.o.v

My bodyguards are two complete idiots, I hired them for one job and any other job I decide to give them. The job I gave them was as simple as a damn addition math equation. All I asked for was, for them to find Tiffany but their pea brains aren't working properly, obviously.

I'm so annoyed with everyone and everything.

Tiffany missing, Bill being a total douche like always, my guards being complete idiots. This is so unfortunately, annoying. I don't know why I thought it would be best for me and Bill to separate.

We promised each other to never leave one another's side but I was the first one to break it. Of course I was. I knew once Bill came back into my life it would mean I would have to make a lot of sacrifices, and that I did. I really didn't want to do it but I had to break it otherwise our lives would've been completely destroyed.

Everything we built, did and even cherished together, meant nothing to me.. not anymore. I couldn't let it continue to mean anything to me. I don't wanna be known anymore. I hate this reputation I made for myself. I don't want it anymore.. but I don't know how to get rid of it, to get it away from me.

I'm slowly dying on the inside trying to understand why I put myself through this position.

Everytime Tiffany is with me all those thoughts go away and now I don't have her.. have her to hold, to protect, to cherish, to just love. To have her is a gift, she's amazing.. she's helpful, kind and her soul was just everything to me. I cherished the ground she walked on, will everyday and I will not stop looking for her even if I end up dead doing so.

If it means keeping her alive.