Us. | A Joe Jonas FanFiction | Book 3

thirty nine.

Adjusting to life as a parent hasn't been the easiest thing I've ever done, especially feeling the way I feel. I never knew it was even possible to feel the way I do. But I'm doing it to protect her. I love her more than I ever thought I could love another human being, but I know that I'm not good for her. I know that if she has any chance of being successful and a good person, Joe has to be the one to teach her. Whether he knows that's how I still feel or not.

"I can't believe she's three months old already," Joe sighs, grinning down at Willa who currently sleeps in the bassinet next to the couch.

"I know," I sigh, wiggling into my spot on the couch. "It feels like I just had her."

He grins. "She's starting to stay awake longer now too."

"I know, I love watching your little play dates."

He chuckles, grinning before frowning. "I've gotta start working again soon."

I nod slowly, pulling my lips into my mouth.

"Are you okay with that?" he asks after a moment.

I nod. "No, yes, of course. I know you have to go back to work. I'm okay with that, I'm just a little nervous to be alone with her all the time," I shrug.

"Well, it won't be all the time. Just to do some recording. Plus, I think I can convince Nick to come over here to do writing sessions in the music room that way I'm here if you need me."

I grin, nodding. "Understood."

Joe's phone begins to vibrate on the couch next to him, making him chuckle. "Speaking of... Hello?"

"Hey man, you guys up for some company? We were thinking about stopping by," Nick's voice comes through on speaker.

Joe looks at me, eyebrows raised.

I nod immediately. They deserve to see her; I mean they're her family too.

"We're up for it, sure."

"Alright cool, we'll be over in an hour or so."

"Sounds good, man," Joe grins, hanging up the phone. "Do you wanna do anything before they get here? I know you said you wanted to shower today."

I nod. "Yeah, let me go do that before they come. If I do it now I'll be done by the time she wakes up and is ready to eat."

He chuckles as I get up, quickly making my way up the stairs and into the bathroom.

After starting the shower, I wait for the water to warm up, placing my hands on the counter and letting the cool surface ground me a bit as I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I knew that motherhood was consuming but boy did I underestimate just how much it would alter my everyday life. I mean, needing to schedule showers around my child's feeding time isn't something I had thought about. Should I have, sure. I mean, it does make sense, she's only three months old and my boob is her only source of food. Regardless, the time for a shower is the only time I have to truly feel my feelings on the subject of being a mother as I definitely don't want to show it any other time, especially in front of Joe. At this point, it seems like writing may be a distant dream of mine, motherhood consuming my entire life and preventing me from having any time to write at all. Is this what my life is going to look like from this point on?

Once I step into the shower and begin to wash, I feel my muscles relax slightly, only to tighten as I once again worry she's awake and screaming for me to feed her, causing me to speed through my shower, throw on a new pair of pajamas and rush down the stairs, only for Willa to still be sleeping and Joe to be scrolling his phone, looking up to me with a confused expression.