Us. | A Joe Jonas FanFiction | Book 3

forty four.

I have a one-year-old. Holy shit I have a one-year-old. Not only do I have a one-year old, but I have a one-year-old who is now walking which is the most terrifying thing in the entire world. I mean crawling scared me but out of no where three days before her first birthday she decided to just up and walk around the house. Okay, that may be an exaggeration but regardless, she's walking now.

"What are you awake thinking about already?" Joe mumbles, laying in bed next to me, his arm draped over my stomach as he lies on his own.

"Willa's one today," I tell him dreamily, staring at the ceiling.

I feel as he props himself up a few seconds later, his hand now resting on my stomach as he faces me. "You okay?"

I grin, nodding before looking at him. "Does this mean she's not a baby anymore?"

He grins, sighing. "Technically, yeah."

My eyes widen a little, my bottom lip popping out.

He chuckles. "Babe."

"No," I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm not ready for her to not be a baby anymore. I feel like I missed out on so much time."

He pulls me into his chest as a few tears fall from my eyes. "You were there the entire time, my love."

"Yeah, physically."

"You can't keep beating yourself up for that, baby. It wasn't your fault."

"But wasn't it though?" I ask, tucking my closed fist under my chin.

"Nope," he shakes his head. "Even if you were to have done everything in you power to be completely present, you and Willa connected when you were meant to. I fully believe that."

I sigh. "We have to make today amazing for her. We need to get up," I start, wiggling out of his arms and sitting up. "And make breakfast. Pancakes, she loves pancakes. Ooo, we should make funfetti pancakes, yes. She can have those and then some sausage cause she loves sausage and fruit. That'll be her breakfast and we have to watch monsters inc today and take her in the pool because it's supposed to be nice. Maybe we could take her to the park too. We can try to find one that's more hidden or something. Wait, she just turned one today. Is she too little for the park?"

By the time I'm done going my spiral about our plans for the day, I'm out of bed with a pair of sweats and a tee on, sliding on my slippers and turning to him.

"You coming?" I ask.

He chuckles, standing up and pulling on a pair of shorts and a tee as well, following me out of the room and down the stairs.

"I will make breakfast," he says, giving me a look. "She's going to wake up any minute and I know you want to nurse her and spend a few-"

Willa's yell interrupts him, making him stop and gesture at the stairs for me.

I grin, quickly jogging up the stairs and opening the bedroom door to see her standing in her crib, a smile spreading across her lips as she sees me. "Good morning mamas girl!"

She giggles, bouncing as I walk over, lifting her out of the crib and giving her a hug.

"Happy Birthday my sweet girl," I tell her. "You're one year old! Can you believe that?!"

She squeals in response, tugging at the collar of my tee and peering down into my shirt.

"Okay, okay, I know. You want milk," I tell her, walking over to the glider and sitting. "Hold on, hold on."

I set her on my lap, taking off the tee and unclasping the nursing tank, letting her latch a moment later and starting to rock gently in the glider, taking out my phone and starting to scroll mindlessly... until a story catches my eye.