The Hall Speaks #fallsemester

Chasing Wind

#Landon #Alana

Landon couldn't move. He couldn't say a word. His heart started to play a symphony of its own as he replayed the words in his head again. They weren't the words he expected to hear. He'd only considered Alana just maybe having a crush. Love sounded so absolute, and Landon couldn't believe that Alana felt the same way he did, that somehow over the semester they had both found love in each other.

His eyebrows furrowed as he felt joy and pain. He knew what he had to do to protect Alana.

Alana's expression went flat as she considered that maybe telling Landon the truth wasn't such a good idea. She looked down, the silence making her feel insecure. She assumed his silence and unreadable expression meant he didn't feel anything for her.

Landon took a deep breath. "Alana... I'm truly flattered. I had no idea that you felt that way. I also understand how strong feelings can develop with the teacher and student dynamic. But you must understand that the nature of my position doesn't allow for those types of relationships... they are prohibited."

The corners of Alana's mouth turned down, like she'd gotten in trouble.

"I... I'd lose my job, and worse." Alana's heart began to break into pieces as she listened. "Please don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. I understand how these things happen. But I love my job," he added.

Alana nodded, and a faint smile settled on her face.

The lights started to turn off in the concert hall; they were closing for the night.

He looked around and noticed that everyone had left. "Are you all right?" He felt horrible, like he had betrayed his only friend. He told himself that he did the right thing, but he couldn't understand why it felt so wrong.

"Yes, thanks for asking," she lied. Landon was her first love, and it crushed her that being with him was impossible.

"Come on, we should go." He gestured with his hand toward Alana to lead her out through the balcony door.

On the drive to Alana's friend's house, Landon and Alana sat in silence. Alana felt that everything had been said back at the concert hall. She didn't know what to say after that. In her eyes, Landon had made their relationship very clear, and the potential of it growing into anything romantic was prohibited. Alana got it and accepted it. She'd never do anything to push Landon away from his job, in a way it brought him into her life.

A weight had been lifted in a sense for Alana. She felt relieved that she had the courage to speak the truth, regardless of Landon's reaction. She was surprised by the liberating feeling she had even though he'd rejected her. At least she knew that, too, and wouldn't have to go on wondering.

Landon appeared to be focused only on his driving, though he was experiencing a series of doubtful emotions. The more he thought about what he said, the more he regretted the words. He valued integrity, loyalty and honesty, all of which he had turned his back on for the sake of doing the right thing.

He told himself that he wanted to protect Alana, but he realized he also wanted to protect Drew and Lizzie. They had trusted him with much more than he deserved. And maybe Lizzie was right; eighteen-year-old girls could fall in and out of love daily. If that were the case, he didn't want to take advantage of her.

As they stared to approach the street that Gio lived on, Alana finally broke the silence. "This is it," she said, pointing to Gio's two story break house. The porch light was on.

Pulling up to the house, Landon looked at Alana who was grabbing her purse from the floor. He opened his door quickly, came around to her side and opened her door.