Tarlos One shots

That sick feeling

That sick feeling
He felt as if someone stuck a knife in his heart and twisted it -
In all of his time on the job, he'd never lost a patient not as a firefighter not as a paramedic until now -
It wasn't supposed to happen like this

The ride back to the station was quiet there was no words that could be said  that would make this better
Nancy  took the step to text Carlos to be on the safer side
- hey .. rough call would be best if you could come pick Tk up our shifts over and he needs you .
His hands were clean yet every time he looked down at them blood covered them  he promised -
Tommy took his hand into hers  although he was not her son she felt as if she owed it to Gwynn to be there for her son -
When they got back to the station Tk went upstairs to go get a shower not stopping to talk to the team like usual  Owen shrugged at Tommy but Tommy just sighed " what's the matter with him ?." Judd asked " he lost his first patient in the field ." Nancy said biting her lip " that's a rough one .." Paul attested "should I call Carlos ?" Judd asked " already done he almost done work he'll be over as soon as he can ."  Nancy said

Tk was getting his shoes on  when Owen came to talk to him

" it's happened to all of us son -." Owen said " I promised her - ."  Tk said biting his lip before turning to look at his dad
" I know - I know I shouldn't have said it okay I know it was wrong ." Tk said " it's not about what you said son ." Owen said
"I'm worried about you now ." Owen said with a sigh
" I'm fine ." Tk said his head in his hands " that never worked when you were just my kid it's not gonna work with me as your captain ."
" your not my captain anymore remember."  Tk said biting his lip " stop trying to spare my feelings cause nobody's sparing that little girls feelings she just watched her mother die right infront of her ." Tk said
" I couldn't even handle my own mother dying at 28 how do you think she feels at 8 ?" Tk said
" that kids is traumatized because of me ." Tk said " and there's nothing I can do to change that ."  Tk said " I should have never promised her that her mom would be fine and now she's paying the price for it ." Tk said  before grabbing his bag

Tk walked outside of the station it was pouring but he didn't mind he didn't want to go home it didn't feel right Carlos's car pulled up and he got out " they called you i assume .." Tk said as Carlos stood offering his hand for Tk to take as the rain poured down " they were worried we're all family here ." Carlos said "cmon let me just get you out of this rain you're gonna get sick ." Reluctantly Tk took Carlos's hand the ride home Tk didn't speak he couldn't even reply to the messages that kept making his phone go off Carlos kept checking on Tk even taking his hand into his own holding it letting Tk know he was there Carlos got out of his uniform while Tk sat on the bed picking at his skin Carlos wasn't gonna ask he didn't want to force the issue " she was 8 ." Tk breathed out as tears swelled up in his eyes "and her mom's dead because of me ." Tk said as Carlos sat on the bed " thats not true ." Carlos said " and I'm not just saying that because I'm your husband ." Carlos said moving closer wiping the tears that streamed down Tk's face " you did everything you could its not your fault that she was to far gone

"Stop beating yourself up about it ." Carlos said softly before pulling Tk into a hug " i know you did everything to help that little girls mom ." Carlos said