PLS PUT YOUR PLAYLIST HERE
Mom,
Whether I find the courage to mail out this letter or not there are things I have to say or I'll never be able to move on. First of all, you wouldn't have had to walk alone on the road to recovery had you chosen differently.
I'm your daughter and you're my mother, but it's clear that's not the type of relationship we've had in quite some time. I've never wanted to be an obstacle in your life but you've made it physically impossible to feel any different. You hate me.
I've spent years trying to understand why everything changed because we once were a happy little family. It was just you and me and I know for the longest time ever that was enough. I was enough for you. Then the daycare went under and I know how difficult that was for you. Besides me, it was the second greatest thing in your life. Something you achieved on your own and you were ever so proud. I get why you were upset and I know why it hurts. Without the daycare----I wasn't enough for you.
What about the abuse I suffered at the hands of your partners? What about the betrayal I still feel when I think of your part in it now? It sickens me that you can go about your life, carry on with the booze while I'm stuck with flashbacks. I can't trust people because of you.
One good thing has come out of your absence in my life. This is the one thing I could potentially thank you for because---thanks to you, I have the Palmers back in my life. You've brought back a few of the greatest people I've ever known. Derek---I always felt home with and now his family is mine. It's a shame you'll never feel home again.
In my perfect world---you'd be in it. We'd be together again and renovating our home for a fresh new start. Youd perhaps down the line would have a decent boyfriend and find your happiness. Then I would tell you all about how I can see myself being with Derek---forever.
I don't need much, mom. I never have. Please make things better for us.
Kahlia.
I couldn't make our first date. By 9:00 that night I had to rush over to work because the other part-time receptionist Sandra had to leave during her shift. There was an incident with one of her twins.
When I told Derek, he wasn't happy about it. He umm hasn't returned any of my messages.
By the time I arrived there was already a stack of papers pilled on the corner of my desk and a list of 20 things yet to be completed.
1.clean washrooms
2. empty box underneath desk
3.fold laundry
4.refill lube containers
5.clean outside of lube containers.
The pay will be worth it, I had to remind myself.
Sometimes I wonder what was the point in hiring another part time receptionist. Sandra hardly does any work while she's there and let's everything pile up so I have tons to do when I work. I mean--what was she doing before she heard of her child's accident? She could have got through a few things on the list if she started at 5. Numbers 1-3 could have easily been done.
Big Steve has got to do a performance review. Hire me full time. Why give hours to someone who is just--present, sitting at the front desk.
YOU ARE READING
There Once Was A Derek & Lia (ongoing)
RomanceKahlia Reinhart and Derek Palmer's friendship was effortless. By the time she was 5 they were inseparable. By the time he was 15, they were estranged. "In the end you always go back to the people that were there in the beginning." - unknown
