There Once Was A Derek & Lia (ongoing)

Chapter 40

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"... And trauma had a way of burning memories deeper into the mind."- Dan Brown

I was a different kind of 11 year old. I had more to be concerned about at 11 then most kids that age. Most they had to worry about was getting their homework done and when they will get the next thing they have their hearts set on.

I knew what I wanted.

Since I lost true friendships with Derek and Hayden, I was seeking friendship. I wanted someone to laugh with and talk to. I wasn't interested in video games or toys. I wanted to talk to someone---John listened.

I already felt a lot older then 11 due to my home circumstances. I cooked. I cleaned. I babysat my mom making sure she was breathing during her binges.  I had no social life outside of school. School was the only place I could pretend to be a kid and get into silly arguments over stupid things looking back.

Who cares who had the longest hair?

John made hot chocolate over the stove late one night. He finally had got my mom settled into bed after what seemed like hours of resisting and screaming.

I was still up. It was hard to sleep through the yelling.

When John stays over for the night he takes responsibility of my mom. He makes sure she is fed and checks up on her in the middle of the night. He puts her to sleep which makes it easier on me so I can do the things I still have yet to do.

John poured the hot chocolate into two mugs, topping them both with mini marshmallows. He placed one mug in front of me at the table and sat down with his. "How do you do it, kid? She's not easy."

"I just do what I know I have to do." I rubbed my eyes with both my hands and yawned.

"I thought your mother loved us. She doesn't if she continues to drink so recklessly. Does she not think that she is hurting us?" His nostrils flared. "You shouldn't be having to raise your adult mother just to keep afloat."

"It's okay John because I--I love her. She's my mom."

"She doesn't love you enough to change."  He spat out. John would always promise he would never abandon me like my own father did and he said he wouldn't  leave me to deal with my mom on my own.

I believed him.

I thanked him.

It was nice to know that someone understood me. I had to deal with my mom alone for a long time that it was nice to have someone to turn to. If I needed to do homework he would clean and cook. If I needed to bathe my mom there was always something I could ask him to do without hesitation.