There Once Was A Derek & Lia (ongoing)

Chapter 54

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How do I decide

Something undecidable -
Tears me up inside;

How am I to choose?
Can't I have the best of both -
Either way, I lose;

Please don't pressure me
For an answer I can't give -
Love - just let it be.

-Linda Ori

I stood in front of my locker and took the word 'slut' painted in red fingernail polish, it was a moment of realization.  I've never considered myself to be a slut, but I would be if I go through with Jacob's proposition. I wasn't a virgin anymore and maybe that in itself looks poorly but agreeing to Jacob would be---proving everyone right. Maybe I am a slut.

"Lia." Sam's voice entered my thoughts.  "Someone looks a little too much like Ravan Baxter right now."

"Hmm?" I snapped out of my dream and back into reality.

"What were you doing?"

Thinking about potential slut shaming I could receive in the near future... "Nothing important." I quickly did my combination and opened my locker.  I pulled out my books for first period. "How are things?"

Sam snorted, "Hardly interesting. Tell me about how things are living with the Palmer boys." Sam clutched her books to her chest.

I gave a dramatic sigh and shrugged my shoulders. "Like living with messy boys. There's nothing cool about living with them, Sam."

"Must be something if you could tell Derek that your mother is pregnant and you couldn't tell your best friend," she muttered, obviously not planning on saying that loud enough for me to hear but I did.

I closed my locker and turned around to face her. Jealousy clouded her common sense. "Your making this into a big deal, Sam. I'm staying with Derek and his family so of course they know the details about what's happening with my mom. The Palmers are nice but they wouldn't just allow me to stay with them for no reason at all."

"You haven't given me much reason to trust you lately. First it was that you had moved in with the Palmers and then now your mother is pregnant? What will be next, Kahlia?"

Possible revelations:

I work at Teasers

I'm sort of dating Derek-----secretly.

As far as everyone knows, I'm still a prized virgin.----I'm not.

I'm waiting for a date and time when I'm suppose to sleep with Jacob.

I know I have not been completely honest with Sam but my secrets aren't exactly something I want people to know about. I didn't want people to know about my drunken mother---now pregnant.  The Palmer's unfortunately found out. I can't let people find out about my past with men so looks like I have no other choice than to sleep with Jacob. And Derek---the social worker would never let me stay at the Palmer's if they found out about us.