Never ; steven f

nine

-Edited  
The morning made it's way into my room. I fluttered my eyes open and grabbed my Buzzing phone from my night stand. I unplugged it from the charger and looked at my screen:

3 missed calls from Steven 
 1 un read message from Jack: hey 

I groaned, why would Steven be calling at 7:00 I'm the morning. Whats so important? my phone buzzed again. What the actual fuck. I answered;

(steven on he phone)
Why don't you answer me? 

i was fucking sleeping, i didn't give you my number so you could be calling at 7 in the morning

we need to work on the project

why? you never seemed to care about projects till now. 

im tryna graduate the fuck.

be here by three, bye steven

I hung up before he could reply. Steven has never cared about school.. all of a sudden he does?

 slowly I walked down stairs to the kitchen. There was a note on the counter written in black ink. Is read;

I left to Paris with Claire, I will be back in a month or so,

 girlfriend  Ever sense mom left ,its like i left to, my dad doesnt really care about me... anymore. I sat on the counter with my face In my palms. My life will never happy ever again. 

-
It was already two thirty so I went up to my room to change, I grabbed shorts and a tie dye tee., leaving my black socks on. I collapsed on my bed and cried. I cried and cried and cried because my life wasn't worth it. Everyone hates me, my dad doesn't care for me, I have no friend, i'm so depressed and suicidal.. sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna be happy.. ever again. I was so happy back then when Julie was alive, everything was perfect, I actually had friends.. a lot... my sobbs became louder, slowly I got up and stood in front of my teal walls. I punched the wall making a hole. i hate crying, I feel like stupid.

_______

There we're knocks at the door, guess Steven is here, I went down stairs to open the door, I stood in front of the door and sighed, my eyes we're probably red from crying and , my hair was mess. . I opened the door to meet Stevens face. He looked at me with no expression, I sniffed a little. "Come in.." I said with my voice cracking. We walked to the kitchen and sat out things on the table, I got my pencil as we sat in silence. It was silent, the air between us was thick. "Uh, are you okay?" He asked. "Yep." I mumbled.. a tear ran down my cheek. Steven lifted my cheek and looked at me straight in the eye . "Your not okay, look at you, your a mess " I was a mess, he was really right. I sobbed quietly looking down. I looked up at him. He looked at me with sad eyes. Steven wrapped his arms around my body pulling me in. I cried on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Steven.." I sobbed. He didn't say anything, he just kept hugging me. I liked that. A few minutes had passed and we were still hugging, I stopped crying a bit, and he let go of me. "Why did you do that?" i Asked with A raspy voice. "Because.. I know how it feels to be hurt.. and I don't want you to feel like that." He replied. That makes me so mad. Why would he say that, he always makes me feel like complete shit on purpose. I cried again. I hate hate hate crying in front of people, it makes me feel cowardly and stupid. "No, you always make me feel like this, your the reason why I do this." I said taking my bracelets of. Scars ran down my arms. He gasped at,the sight. "Why?..." "you make me feel like crap!" I yelled. It was silent for a second. I looked at him and he looked at me... he pulled my face to his face. "Im sorry.." He mumbled before kissing me, our lips moved in scyn. He pulled apart and I sat there with no emotion. He did it again.. he kissed me.. "no your not sorry!  you said that.. never mind" I said. I looked down. I'm so worthless my bully kisess,me because he feels bad..
-
Time has passed and it was 9:00 at night. We still sat in the kitchen doing nothing. Just breathing. "I'm sorry, I ever made you feel like that" he spoke. I didn't say anything. "Are you mad at me?" He asked. "No." I said with no emotion. "I'm also sorry you had to sit here all day watching me cry. " I mumbled. "Don't matter . I should uh get going now.." "no." I said grabbed his wrist. "it's raining hard outside.." "well, can I crash at your place maybe?" He asked. I nodded. We walked to my room. I grabbed some thick blankets and I put them on the floor and a pillow. "There.." I said. He looked down and looked at his clothes. He pulled his shirt off and exposed his abs . Then he pulled his jeans,off Leaving him in boxers. Like the idiot I am, I kept starring. "Uh, Andrea.." he said. "Oh, um sorry ." I replied blushing, he smirked. I'm so dumb. I sped walked to the bathroom and locked the door. I put on some booty shorts and brushed my teethe then walked out. Steven was already on the floor on his phone, he looked up at me and smirked, I looked at him funny."what?" I laughed. "You look hot" he said. I rolled my eyes. I walked to my bed and collapsed on there. My mind was so clogged up with positive things for once, the kiss and the conversation. I don't know man. I feel fuzzy inside...
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