heart - throb • a tronnor au ✔️

Chapter 30

Connor ended up falling asleep on Troye around 6 P.M - right when Troye had to leave for the studio. Connor looked to precious and peaceful to wake up, just like a sleeping kitten. So, Troye did the respectable thing and carried him up into his room- which, by the way, required a lot of upper body strength - something Troye majorly lacked.

But thankfully, he got Marcus to help him carry Connor into Troye's bedroom, and somehow never waking the kid up. As Troye set him down in his bed, he walked over to the area in his room that held all his song journals, quickly doing something then putting it back. Then Troye went back to his precious angel, moved his hair out of his face, and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight Connie" Troye whispered, tucking Connor in. "Sweet dreams" And with that, Troye had turned out the lights and shut the door, making his way to the label.

Within an hour, Connor had woken up in an empty bed. He was disappointed to say the least, but he knew Troye had a job that he had to get done – no matter how much it separates them. So, Connor did the one thing he should probably never do: snoop.

Ah yes, snooping. What a great way to earn his boyfriends trust. To snoop around in his room. Not at all disrespectful.

But no matter how much Connor thought he shouldn't snoop, he couldn't fight the urge. So, he began snooping.

There wasn't much in Troyes room – just clothes, shoes, and the occasional journal with written lyrics, but there was one journal that stuck out to Connor. It didn't have the words Songs or Music plastered on the front, instead it had the word Diary.

Connor looked at the Diary, contemplating if he should open it or not – he went with the former.

When he opened it, he was greeted by a Diary entry made not too long ago – it looked like Troye had started this diary just a couple of days before he met Connor.

Entry One:

Dear Diary,

My name is Troye Sivan Mellet – or more famously known as Troye Sivan. I'm currently living my dream right now. I have money, amazing fans, a couple cool friends, and most of all, I get to make music for a living.

People say I have a way with words, which makes no sense to me because I cannot write in a dairy for shit.

Anyways, the reason for starting this dairy is because I need somewhere – other than my songs – to display my feelings.

So, I guess I'll start doing that. Until next time,

Yours, Troye xx

Connor laughed at the entry – it was cute and cheeky, just like Troye. He began reading further on.

Entry Two:

Dear Diary,

Jim is a fucking bitch – he's making me date some chick named Bethany for publicity. Does he not realize that I'm gay? Does he not realize that what he's doing is sick and twisted?

But, a good thing did come out of it. We went on a 'date' to a cute little café in town and our waiter was, well, cute. Actually, cute is an understatement.

His name was Connor – he had gorgeous green eyes, blondeish brownish flat hair, and a cute smile. He was really something, I'll tell you what.

Yours, Troye xx

Connor couldn't help but smile at Troye. If only past Troye knew what would happen in only a matter of months. It was truly remarkable, really. Their whole story was like a fairytale, and Connor loved every single part about that.

Connor skimmed through even more entries, but only a couple in particular caught his eye – to where he would read the thoroughly.

Entry 13:

Dear Diary,

I like connor. Oh god I really like Connor. I'm falling deep for him and I can't get back up.

Today, at school, Bethany told Connor to back off and shit, which really made Connor upset. She told Connor that she was going to 'turn me straight.' She called him nasty things. So when I was comforting hi, rubbing his back – I began to think. I was thinking about him and his eyes, his smile, his teeth, his lips, his hair, everything. The way he walked, the way he talked and just completely everything.

I realized I'd rather have him happy over me. I realized how much a really cared for him – I realized how much I like him. I'm crushing on him so hard it hurts.

Yours, Troye xx

Entry 21:

It's over.

Our perfect fairytell story is over. We ended it, and it's my fault.

I was over reacting, being a bitch because he forgot our one month anniversary. One. Month. I yelled at him, called him names, and worst of all, I made him cry.

I made the boy that I'm falling for Cry.

And let me tell you, you don't experience pain until you see someone you care about cry because of you.

I feel like shit. I'm a shitty person who doesn't deserve someone as amazing as Connor. He has gone through so much shit in his life, and I just added to that. I'm a shitty shitty person. I really am.

I fucked up for nothing.

I miss him

Yours, Troye xx

Connor held back the tears as he read through that entry. Memories flooding back to him and those horrible 2 days. Connor felt bad for how hard Troye was on himself. Connor wish that Troye knew he wasn't worthless, he wish he could tell him.

Connor was just about to put the Diary back, but something caught his eye.

It was the page Troye had last written in, and the date was from today. He had to look, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Entry 29:

Dear Diary,

Label me worlds worst boyfriend.

Connor and I had just been watching Netflix downstairs, so I took that time to talk to him – tell him about how much he means to me. How much I trust him.

Connors stomach dropped at the word trust, but he continued reading.

He then stated that we have to be secret free, which I would be totally okay with if I didn't have a secret of my own.

Connor's jaw dropped. Troye was hiding something from Connor? Yeah, he was kinda mad about it, but why was Troye making it such a big deal? Did Troye do something bad?

I want to tell him, I really do – but I can't. Not yet at least.

If he finds out, he'll be pissed.

I'm the worst boyfriend ever. I care about him too much and I don't want to see him hurt when he finds out I've been keeping a secret from him.

We'd both be heartbroken.

Yours, Troye xx

__

A/N

I hope 2 shitty chapters in a row make up for that excuse I call an update

Love you lovies xx

p.s

circle