group chat ➳ l.h. [completed]

t w e n t y - s i x

Step two was fear. And yes, I was terrified.

Terrified of the future, terrified of my thoughts, especially the ones about Luke, and last but not least terrified of life itself.

It is so capable of ruining a person in just a matter of days, minutes, or hell even seconds.

We were lucky if it was quick and easy, like death itself. A quick death without pain, but this was worse than that. For I had to live with this pain and sadness, it was like a hole was in my stomach. It was simply an emptiness without my beloved Luke. And I desperately wanted it filled.

Calum was trying. He even made me breakfast that morning after my horrid nightmare.

I remembered waking up to see his face, he looked afraid for me for a second, and then switched to looking comforting once again.

And afterwards, he ran his hand over my hair until I fell asleep again. And that time, I dreamt of the damn chocolate cake.

"I always cook for my mom, it's just bacon and eggs. I couldn't find any bread in here for toast." Calum said, flipping the bacon on the sizzling hot pan.

"We must have ran out." I replied, trying to keep my eyes off of the cake.

"By the way I think cakes need to have covers on them. And uh- icing." He said with a grin after turning to look at me.

I closed my eyes and swallowed a forming lump in my throat, one that hurt to swallow.

"Luke made it for my birthday." I said, finally meeting his gaze that now grew sad and regretful for even mentioning the cake.

"Do you," he hesitated, "want me to throw it out?"

I wanted it thrown away. I did, I really did. But it was made by him, it was stirred and created by Luke hands himself, it was the only thing that he left for me. And as gross as it seemed, I didn't want it thrown away anymore.

"Just leave it." I stated.

"Winnie, you need every reminder of him gone, it's the best way to heal-"

"I don't want to heal!" I snapped, "look around, everything here is a reminder of him. The couch, picture frames, the bed, even this stupid counter top." I gestured to the counter top that Luke once fingered me on. 

"Okay then." Calum chuckled. "One, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that and two, I'm gonna just take the bacon off of the countertop." He said with a smile lurking on his lips before taking the plate of bacon to the table.

I smiled as well, it was a rare smile that hasn't happened in days, so when it happened I seemed to have forgotten that Luke was gone for those very few seconds. The feeling was better than sadness, but when the few seconds were over and I saw the cake again, I realized that Calum was right.

"You're right." I told him, forcing back tears.

"I know I'm right, please tell me you disinfected that when you two finished-"

"Not about that!" I interrupted him, waving my hand at him. One thing I knew for sure about Calum, was that he was a major germaphobe.

"About the cake and all of the reminders of him." It hurt like hell to say the words that felt like fire on my tongue, but it was what needed to happen to heal.

"Oh," he looked towards the cake and walked up to it. He put a finger on the top of it, and then knocked on it as if it were a door. "Looks like he missed an ingredient." He said, and I laughed for a moment and nodded.

"He tends to do that." I replied and wiped a tear from my eye before it had the chance to fall.

Calum placed his hand on my back and smiled, "It'll be okay, I promise."

I attempted to smile back and just afterward watched with saddened eyes as Calum grabbed the pan with the rock solid cake in it and tossed it in the trash.

"I'll buy you a new pan. There's no way that chocolate concrete mix was getting out of there." Calum said and I laughed once more.

I knew then that having Calum there was good for me, hell, it was great for me. For being alone worsened everything.

"A few more things." He told me, and I watched as he walked out of the kitchen. I followed closely behind and saw that he was beginning to take picture frames with Luke on them off of the walls and onto the floor so I couldn't see the picture.

And afterwards he walked towards Luke's room and closed the door.

"No more going in here, okay?" He ordered, and I thought about it for a second, still wanting to be able to go in there once in a while. But when I thought about it some more, I realized he was right. There were too many memories in that room.

"Okay." I replied in a whisper, not fully trusting my voice.

"We'll just sleep in your room." He said.

"We?" I asked, watching as he nodded.

"Do your parents know your here?" I asked, totally forgetting that he spent the night and seemed as if he was going to again.

"There gone on there anniversary vacation thing that they do every year. Usually gone for two months, unfair I know." He chuckled and I smiled.

"But on the bright side in those two months I'm staying with you and helping you get through this Winnie, We'll be like room mates." He smiled back and without thinking I threw my arms around his neck in a tight hug.

"I love you, Calum." I said against his neck, not caring to hold the tears back any longer. He was my best friend, and I don't know what I would have done without him.

"I love you too Winifred." I felt him smile against my neck, and I did as well.

Now this was step three.

Acceptance.

It was going to be the hardest, and the longest to overcome, but I was going to try my hardest and ignore the cake in the trash and concentrate more on myself and my own happiness.

I hugged Calum tighter and ran my hand through his soft dark hair like I always loved to do, and just now noticed an envelope on the side table beside the couch.

It was addressed to Luke Hemmings, and as I squinted slightly a bit more to read who it was from, my heart sank.

It read,
Kiersten Irwin.

______

(A/N)

If you want can you guys comment  questions for my soon to come YouTube Q&A video? It can be about anything.

Yes, anything ;)

-Bailey xoxo