group chat ➳ l.h. [completed]

t w e n t y - s e v e n

(A/N)

GUYS. I have no idea why some of my earlier chapters are like cut off short, it's pissing me off because like I wrote a lot of important stuff and it's just erased. So don't think those were just ridiculously short chapters haha they're just messed up. So I might have to rewrite most of it, but anyways sorry about all that! Here's the update my loves: 

twenty-seven

Rewind. Go back.

I cannot have acceptance to what is happening any longer. For how am I supposed to accept something that isn't really over yet?

My mother still sends money in the mail, which is the only thing I will take from her. Selfish or not, I do need to pay the bills for this house since Luke cannot until I get a job.

However I'm eighteen, my plans were college. But at this point with so much school missed, I might as well be named a drop out.

So no, I cannot accept that Luke is in jail. I cannot try and be happy, because really I'm not. And what about him?

Who cares about me, it's about him.

I fear for his safety every night when I close my eyes. For when I do, I think of him afraid and alone with no one else. I weep at the thoughts silently as Calum sleeps beside me, and I can't help but at least pray that he is okay and not shivering in a hard prison cell bed.

Calum told me he got the mail for me and put it on the counter where I saw it, and that explains where my mothers letter came from.

But the fact that it was written "Keirsten Irwin" made my skin crawl. That must have been the guy Luke told me about that she cheated on him with.

I imagined an older man with gray strands in his hair, but Luke said he looked as young as he.

I sat watching my ceiling fan spin with my mothers letter against my chest.

It spun a little slower than the fan in Luke's room, something I noticed after hours of staring.

I had already read the letter. It was for Luke's eyes, and I knew it, but I couldn't help but read the words of pity that my mother wrote for him. She wrote as if she were sorry, but I knew that she really wasn't.

I listened to Calum's slight snores beside me, and I thought back to when Luke was the one sleeping beside me doing the exact same thing. Usually I would turn and place a hand on his cheek, moving my thumb across his skin until his eyes fluttered open and his lips curved into a smile.

An unwanted tear ran down my cheek just then at the memory of his smile and how at this exact moment he was most likely not smiling. The thought had be clenching the letter in anger, because none of this would have happened if my mother wouldn't have left.

Of course, I wouldn't have Luke. But he wouldn't be in jail either.

However I'm partly to blame, because if me and Luke didn't have sex, he would most likely still be here. And God, I wish he was.

"Winnie?" I heard Calum whisper in his sleepy and groggy voice beside me.

I wiped away at my cheek quickly before turning my head to face him.

Light was barely peeking through the windows, and it had to be about six in the morning by now.

"Have you slept at all?" He asked worryingly with his brows pinched together.

I shook my head no, and watched as he frowned and moved closer to me before grabbing the letter and laying it on my bedside table beside his glasses.

"You're going to sleep." He told me, and I forced a smile upon my lips before turning and laying my head on the pillow facing Calum.

We looked at each other for about a minute, mentally comparing each other's eye colors and how they differed in each, tiny detail.

I used to do the same with Luke, for his eyes were something else. Something truly rare to me when really a lot of people had the same color. But the fact that they were his, that's what made them so unique.

"I'm tired but my eyes won't shut." I whispered, seeing his lips curve into a smile.

"Here," he replied before putting his fingers over my eyes. I then closed them, and saw nothing but darkness in the inside of my eyelids. "Now don't open them until it's the afternoon. You need sleep Winnie."

I knew he was right, but I didn't want to sleep. Because of course, there would be nightmares. Nightmares out of my control, nightmares that would have me shaking as I awoke.

But as I said, I didn't care about me.

It was about Luke and how he was doing. Hell, he's in a living nightmare right now. 

My eyes were closed, but all I saw was Luke's eyes and smile.

"Good morning beautiful." He spoke to me in a sweet, relaxing tone that had my eyes fluttering open and smile wide in just seconds.

His large hand was moving through my hair slowly, making me feel beautiful and important. And I was to him, as was he to me.

"I Can't believe I'm in love with a girl named Winifred." He laughed, and I laughed as well, because his was contagious.

"Very funny." I replied with a smile, pressing my lips to his.

The metal in his lip moved across mine slowly, causing goosebumps to form on my skin.

His hands moved to my cheeks as he deepened the kiss, and I felt at home. I felt complete in his arms in a way one would be lucky to feel. I felt simply loved, and that was something everybody deserved.

"You're a good girl." He said, smiling against my lips as I pinched my brows together.

"What?" I chuckled, continuing to kiss him, for he seemed to not want to stop.

"Daddy's favorite."

I jolted awake just then as the sun from the window came in through the blinds, causing me to squint.

The dream I had seemed like five seconds, but as I looked at the clock and saw that it was one in the afternoon, I knew it wasn't.

This dream, however, was different than the others. For it was happy and alive, full of love and desire.

I dreaded those kinds of dreams.

Because when I awake and realize it was simply a dream, the feeling inside is simply inexplainable. It's like getting your hopes up too high or feeling happy and then having sadness drop on you like a bomb, exploding everything inside of you except that one person being dreamt about.

I hated those dreams, but at the same time loved them.

What is wrong with me?

_____

(A/N)

Hey guys! SO sorry for the late update, school just started and it's crazy.

Now for the next update it's going to fast forward a little in time, and this book is NEARING its end. Not that close, just NEARING.

For those that think this book was just for smut, WELL YOU WERE WRONG. I never write just for smut, I mean that's always part of my stories sometimes but never all of it. I love plot and meaning in a story, so never expect just smut from me haha.

Love you guys!

-Bailey xoxo