New life.(Kbtbb Editing)

Chapter 35//The dream

This was when she passed out Just to let you guys know
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I open my eyes and look around me in An exhausted way The room I was in Was White and Gold The floor was tiled and It just seemed so...Empty like there was something missing.

A sudden figure Starts to Focus in right in front of me and I gasp lightly.I could feel my eyes water slightly and I quickly look down to the floor.It was my sister.

She took a seat in front of me on the ground her mouth in a grim line looking at me sadly.

"Hey..."She says unsure of herself I don't look into her eyes and just keep my gaze on the floor.

"I need to talk to you Cat this is important."I sigh heavily And look up at her disgust clear in my eyes."Shoot away Sis."I spit out my voice dripping with venom.

"Do you hate me...?"She asks Heasitantly as if I'm going to explode at any second I narrow my eyes at her wanting so desperately bad to say yes but even I know I could never hate her.

"I hate what you did not you."I speak up She smiles slightly and takes a deep breath.

"Okay I wanted to tell you this I'm sorry for leaving you.I regret it but what your doing is slowly killing yourself Cat.."

I look her straight in the eye laughing bitterly "And...?"I question not really caring anymore I could Live or die I don't give a shit anymore I've given up.

My sister looks at me sorrowfully "Did my death really break you that bad..?I was weak I admit it I gave up and chose the easy way out I left you alone in this world I left you to deal with everything I left you with a burden if I knew that you would care so much I wouldn't have done it if I knew anyone in my life cares I wouldn't have.Look Catarina You grip onto the Pain and despair You refuse to let it go you carry it with you everyday are you happy?Do you want to be like this?Your a good person you deserve The light and happiness if you give up the way I did you will be killing others too more people care than you may think.You believe everyone will leave in the end but that isn't true at the end of the day no one truly leaves you."

I look at her astonished Blinking a couple time but then I explode.

"YOU Left me here!YOU completely destroyed me!YOU left And didn't think about any of that you bloody Hipocrite!"I scream jabbing my finger at her Trying to express my point.

She scowls And suddenly Grabs my forearms forcefully and shakes my violently "Your right I did leave Cat but why the hell are you punishing yourself and Acting so cold!"

I look down sadly tears threatening to spill over my eyes and I slap her hands away "I don't deserve To be happy."I answer Simply my sister seems to get even angrier with That sentence.

"YOU STUPID GIRL!Just admit that you are Full Of Self-Pity!"She yells pointing an accusing finger at me.I grow angrier to and suddenly I stand up raising my hands to the sky Screaming at her Bitterly.

"You know what?Fine!Im full of self-Pity!!!Im pitying myself because I have nightmares every time I go to sleep!I pity myself because My own mother who abused me after all those years is dying soon!I pity myself because I have a secret sister I never knew about!!Amd most of All you bitch I pity myself because my own sister my best friend Jumped off of our roof killing herself in front of my own eyes and I couldn't do a thing to stop it!!"

My sister flinched back and my ragged breaths Are the only sound in the room I scared myself right there my own voice morphed Into something to terrifying so Velvety so high pitched it didn't sound human.

I stare at her on the ground and say in a calmer voice "Yeah I pity myself Sister I do all the time I'm no saint I'm not noble I never pretended to be But I don't sit on my ass everyday,crying myself to sleep at night I don't go around telling people my problems I don't do it for attention I do it because I'm so close to suicide maybe I will push myself over the edge I do it Because I hate myself I do it because Maybe one day I'll take my final breath and you know what?I could care less anymore."