(All in his POV!)
Ashton: "But now that I'm broken, now that you know it, caught up in a moment, can you see inside?"
There is so much more to me than anyone sees, and every time I let someone in, I let them see all of me, they run. I'm broken inside and I've tried to keep it in, bottle up my emotions and not let anyone see who I truly am. But occasionally I just need to let it out, unfortunately for me, that all happened at the worst of times. I met this girl Y/N after my hat flew off while I was sitting in the park and it happened to land by her feet, I invited her to come sit back under the tree with me and we talked for a while, introducing ourselves. I learnt that she has similar taste in music, and works as a sound tech and roadie across Australia, helping big bands with their concerts, and that she has the most amazing sense of humour and outlook on life. She's so much fun to be around and her lively spirit is contagious. She ducked off in the middle of our conversation to go and get ice cream for us and I continued writing on my laptop. Unfortunately my emotions got the better of me and I began to cry right there in the middle of the park, temporarily forgetting about the kind and caring girl who would be coming back any second. "Ashton?" I looked up from my laptop to see Y/N standing near me, holding two cups of ice cream. "What's wrong?" she asked, sitting down next to me. "Nothing," I brushed it off, hastily getting up. "I'll be back in a minute," I said, running off to the public restrooms to splash my face with some water. As I made my way back to her I saw her staring at my laptop that I had forgotten to shut. I sat down next to her, afraid to talk. She handed a cup of ice cream to me, not speaking either. After a minute silence I decided to break it. "I'm sorry," I said, taking a bite of my ice cream. "Why are you apologising?" she asked me. "I didn't mean to make such a fuss before. I'm not like that." "Your writing would beg to differ," she said. I looked down at my lap, silently cursing. "You read it?" "Yeah. I hope that's not bad." "No it's just.. I don't really talk about that stuff with anyone," I told her. "Really? No one?" "Nope. Sometimes the boys but not usually, I'm too ashamed." "Why are you ashamed?" she questioned, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Because I'm broken... I don't want to admit that. That's like admitting defeat in a battle you've put your heart and soul into, you don't want to admit that you lost everything." "And what's everything?" "Strength mainly. I used to be loud and proud, always making videos and having fun... then it just changed. Every single emotion that I'd tried to suppress came back to haunt me when we started writing the second album, all these pent up emotions came flowing out and it was uncontrollable.." I admitted. Why am I telling her all of this? She probably doesn't care. "But anyway.. now that you know all of this, does that change things? Because I kind of really like you and I was going to ask you out, but if this changes anything-" "It doesn't," she cut me off. "I'd love to go out with you," she said, my heart skipping a beat. "Really?" I checked. "Really. I thought I already knew a lot about you after our two hour conversation before, but now.. I really feel like I can see you, what's inside." "I guess I just got caught up in the moment, I don't usually let my emotions out like I did before," I said. "It just let me know you a little better," she said. I intertwined my fingers with hers and she squeezed my hand reassuringly. Maybe it's time to let someone in, let the pieces of my life get put back together.
Michael: "I've got a jet black heart, and there's a hurricane underneath it trying to keep us apart..."
"This isn't supposed to happen to me! I'm not supposed to fall in love! I'm the rebel, the reject, the idiot, the misfit, the punk rocker, I'm not supposed to fall in love!" I screamed at Y/N. She was just trying to be there for me, to tell me her feelings towards me and I've completely spazzed out. She's amazing, she really is, but every time I try to get closer to her it feels like there's something getting in the way, as if I'm not supposed to be doing this, I'm not supposed to be with this girl. "Do you really believe that?" she asked me, her eyes teary. "Yes! I may be 'girl crazy' as people say, but love just isn't written in the pages for me. I'm not... I just can't do it." "Do what? Be in love? Or let yourself fall in love?" "Y/N.. please don't do this," I ran my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself down. "You know what the answer is." "I know, but I want to hear you admit it, to say it out loud," she said. "Fine! I can't let myself fall in love! But it's clearly not working because I've already fallen for you!" I shouted, my chest rising and falling in time with my shaky breaths. Her eyes widened slightly as I spoke, my words taking her off guard. "You... you've fallen for me?" she uttered shakily. "Yes. But like I said, we're not the right fit. My heart.." I grabbed her hand and held it to my chest. "My heart isn't red like yours is, it's jet black. I'm incapable of love, I can't give enough to you, and you deserve the best. I'm an explosion waiting to happen, I'm not good for you. I'll take your life and flip it upside down and spin it around. I've got a jet black heart and there's a hurricane underneath it and it won't let me love you." "It's trying to keep us apart Michael, but surely you can fight against it," her words came out barely a whisper, her breath trembling. "I can't. It doesn't work like that." "How do you know?" she asked, beginning to get annoyed. "You say you've fallen for me Michael, but you're not willing to fight for me. How is that supposed to make me feel?" "Y/N if I could have you, if there were any way, I would be kissing you right now," I told her. She averted her eyes, staring at the ground, gripping at my shirt as her tears dripped onto the ground. "My heart is dead Y/N, I can't love you, I'm not supposed to." She took a step back from me, wiping away her tears. "I wish I could believe you Michael. But I know you can love me, you've shown me that. You make this so much harder than it needs to be," she said. "Y/N you don't know me. You don't know what I'm like, I'm not this sweet guy, I'm broken, stone cold and heartless." "No," she shook her head. "You're not stone cold or heartless. That's what you're trying to tell yourself. Do you really think that just because you're in a punk band you have to be like this? I feel like you're just trying to live up to a stereotype instead of letting who you really are come through." Is she right? Am I just trying to be stereotypical, rejecting any part of me that wants to not be punk rock.. I looked into her eyes, seeing the pain and struggle she was feeling. I've caused this and I feel like a monster. I've ruined her, completely torn her apart because of my claim to be unable to love her. Maybe fame does change you.. "I've still got a jet black heart. But maybe you can help," I uttered, ashamed of myself. "You can paint your world black and white all you want, but there is always going to be something that brings colour into your life," she said poetically. "Be that something. Be my colour."
