divorce [h.s.]

twenty three

A.N.
I'm in love with this gif bye

Andria

"I seriously fucked up, Hannah." I whine into the bottom of my wine glass after taking another long sip.

"So wait, tell me what happened again?" Hannah asks, slowly moving her glass from her lips and peering at me curiously. "You spent the weekend together but then you panicked once he brought up the R word?"

"The what?"

"Relationship." Hannah tells me, rolling her eyes.

"Well, kind of." I sigh. "I don't really know why I reacted like that. Everything had been all easy the whole weekend and then he just sprung that on me."

"Have you told him about Matthew?" Hannah asks me with a worried look.

"I've mentioned him." I sigh. "I've not really gone into much detail...."

"Maybe you should-"

"No. I don't want to." I interrupt, raising my gaze to hers. "I've told him enough."

"And what's that?"

"All that he needs to know." I say and Hannah rolls her eyes. "It's better that way. I don't want to share all the ins and outs of that goddamn relationship."

"But maybe if you tell him everything then he'll understand why you're so hesitant towards the commitment of a relationship." Hannah tells me and I raise my eyebrow.

"Now you're sounding more like a counsellor than I am." I sigh, downing the rest of my wine.

"Who is this guy anyway? You still haven't told me. It's getting annoying referring to him as 'him'." Hannah says and I bite my lip anxiously.

Should I tell her who it is? The actual truth? Shall I just spill my guts and tell her every single thing that's happening in my mess of a life? It'd help me blow off some steam, I guess.

But I can't. Although Hannah is one of my best friends and has been for a long time, I know she'd just tell me how wrong this is and how stupid I'm being. I tell myself that everyday so I don't need anybody else reminding me.

I suppose I could tell her his name. She probably wouldn't be able to match it to a face and even if she did, she has no idea that Harry is one of my clients. That's still embarrassing for me to admit to myself, let alone anyone else.

"He's called Harry." I finally tell her, tapping my finger against my wine glass. "He was-"

"Wait, is he the one that was all over you at that club we went to?" She asks. Damn. She does remember him.

"Uh, yeah." I admit and a smile pulls at Hannah's lips. "What are you smiling at?"

"He was hot!" Hannah laughs, leaning forward. "Why didn't you tell me it was him before we even started this conversation?"

I shrug. "Well, at the beginning I was trying to keep it hypothetical."

"Yeah, I didn't buy any of that. Nice try though."

"Thanks." I sigh. "Nice to know you're another person who can see right through me."

"You're basically transparent." Hannah says and I raise my eyebrows at her, to which she just smiles innocently. "Look, why don't you just call this Harry right now?"

"Uh, bad idea." I say, pointing to my empty glass which has been drained about three times. "Ever heard of 'don't drink and dial'?"

"You're hardly even drunk." Hannah says. "You've had like, two glasses. Come on, just call him."