divorce [h.s.]

forty two

A.N.
This chapter is long as fuck, you're welcome

Andria

I remember when I was younger, maybe about 9 or 10 years old, me and my friends would spend the majority of our summer hanging out in the park in town. We would mess around on the swings or going down the slides, but our favourite thing to do was climb the trees, spending hours challenging each other on who could get up the highest.

But one day, when I was climbing up one of the biggest trees in the park, a branch snapped from underneath me and I fell ten feet to the ground. I cut my arm on the way down, the evidence shown by the scar just inches from my elbow. I remember how I landed on my back, and all at once, it was as if the impact had knocked all the air from my lungs. Some of my friends ran off to get help, but I just lay there struggling to breathe, to move, to do anything.

That's how I feel now.

I just sit there in silence, trying to remember how to breathe, how to speak, totally frozen as Harry's words seem to echo around the room. The only sound in the room is mine and Harry's heavy breaths, although the only thing I can hear is the thumping of my pulse in my ears, my heart banging against my ribcage so hard I'm surprised it doesn't crack.

I open my mouth to speak a few times but end up closing it again, not able to even string a few words together. Harry just watches me as I sit there in silence, although the longer I don't say anything, the more nervous he seems to become, his hand now still against my cheek and his eyes slightly wide.

"W-what?" I eventually manage to muster that one word, my voice sounding shaky and unlike my usual tone.

A deep, nervous-sounding breath pushes past Harry's lips but he seems too determined to let nerves overcome him. He suddenly sits up in bed and gently pulls me up with him, the sheets falling down to our waists and I gulp.

"I'm in love with you, Andria," he says again, although the words hit me just as hard the second time. His green eyes flicker up to meet mine and the look in his eyes would take my breath away if his words hadn't already. "I think I've been falling for you for a while now, I just didn't want to admit it. Even from the first moment I saw you, I knew what I felt was wrong, but......I just couldn't help it.

You were so sassy and strong and wouldn't deal with anyone's bullshit, especially not mine, but that's what I liked about you. And you were so fucking beautiful and such a tease and you had me falling for you before either of us could stop it. 

It's like I became addicted to you, I just needed to see you whenever I could, needed to hear your voice all the time. You were the thing that actually got me up in the morning, because just the thought of being able to see your face was enough for me. So yeah, I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you that it fucking hurts, and I don't know what to do about it but....I don't care if it hurts. Because I love you, so it's worth it."

My heart swells and it begins to feel much heavier in my chest, but not in a bad way, because I understand the type of hurt he's talking about. It's the good kind of pain. And that pain stems from one thing, one emotion that consumes you, takes over you, overwhelms your entire being.

Love.

I'm so overwhelmed that I feel my breathing grow heavier and tears prick in my eyes, although I don't even realise I'm crying until one hot tear rolls down my cheek. However, once that lone drop escapes my eye, the floodgates open.

"Oh shit, are you crying?" he asks, his eyes widening and his face paling as he moves closer to me in a panic. "Please, baby, don't cry. It's ok, you don't have to say it back. I just-"