divorce [h.s.]

forty eight

A.N.
WE HIT 600k!!!

that's literally so cool I actually can't believe it. When I first joined Wattpad I remember seeing stories with like 50k and being like wow that's amazing. Even when I hit 100k on my first story I was in shock

I just want to thank you all so much for supporting and loving the story as much as you seem to do. I've never been the most confident in my writing or as an author/writer, but you all really motivate me and make me think I'm actually doing ok haha

thank you again, I love you all, now let's go for a million!!! x

Andria

I seem to lose all concept of time as I remain cocooned in my bed, my body wrapped up in about ten blankets. The only thing that tells me days are passing by is the light changing, the sun setting then rising again, although I end up pulling the blind down in hopes to completely shut out the outside world, not wanting anything to do with it.

I barely eat or sleep, just laying there all alone, wide awake staring blankly at the walls which I begin to feel like are closing in on me. It only takes a couple of hours before I turn off my phone and throw it across the room, fed up of the incessant calls and texts.

The day after I do that, the knocking begins. There's knocking at my door multiple times a day, in the morning, again in the afternoon, and even in the evening too. I just cover my ears with my hands or a pillow, trying to block out the sound and the face of the man who is stood behind my door. I know it's him.

I try not to think about it too much, but seeing as I have nothing else to do, all I can do is think. I think about how heavy my heart feels inside my chest, and how much it twists with pain whenever I re-run mine and Harry's fight over again in my head.

While most of me really hates him and what he's doing, part of me understands. He started off with nothing, spending most of his days sat on his friends sofa, wasting his life away. Then he finally got a job, which he quickly became good at and he immediately started rising higher in the company. I know that when you start to get really good at your profession, that gives you a sense of power, the feeling that you really can do anything. That feeling is addictive, and you would do anything to sustain it.

I remember when I first found out that Matthew cheated on me. Like everyone would, I spent a maybe a day or two cuddled up in bed, but then I was up and dressed and ready to head back to work. Everyone was shocked by my actions, asking me if I was sure that I wanted to go back, but I was certain. At the time, my job was the only thing I had. It made me happy and it was a great distraction.

But now, I don't even have my job anymore. Or at least, I won't soon. Apart from my friends and my family, my job is the most important thing to me. Sometimes it feels like it's all I have, but now it's been taken away.

But no matter how much the thought of losing my job hurts, Harry's betrayal cuts me much deeper. Matthew was my first love and the fact that he cheated on me, after everything else we went through, very nearly destroyed me forever. I thought that after everything that happened, I would never find love ever again, and that's why I threw myself into my work.

But then Harry came crashing into my life. Even though he was lost and confused, he was still charming and funny and so incredibly sweet. Despite how we went through a lot of drama in the beginning, he was always there for me and he seemed to care for me in a way that no one else did before.

So I fell for him.

I fell in love with him and when he told me that he loved me for the first time, I can't remember a time when I'd felt happier. I honestly felt like my life was mine again, that I was in a healthy, happy and loving relationship that would last. But then everything fell apart, and he hurt me just as much as Matthew did before.