divorce [h.s.]

sixty nine

Andria

It's now the weekend and I'm out shopping with one of my best friends,  Hannah. Admittedly, I haven't seen her in a while, but we have one of those friendships where we can go without seeing each others for months, but when we hang out again it's like we saw each other just yesterday.

We've had a pretty big catch up session, which I was quite scared about. I was expecting it to be all heavy and emotional as I updated her on everything that's been happening, but in true Hannah style, she's been chill about everything. Her reaction is one that that I'm insanely thankful for, because I don't think I can deal with any more pity looks and sympathy.

Hannah isn't like that though. She acts like it's not that much of a big deal, something which I weirdly find myself appreciating. She's always calm about everything, she never really makes a fuss, and I find that very comforting, especially when I'm practically spilling my guts to her about these hellish past few weeks, while she just casually flicks through the clothing racks, occasionally humming or nodding.

"So how are you and Harry doing now?" Hannah asks me once I'm done, peering at a black sheer top she's just pulled out from the rack.

"We're doing ok," I tell her as I also idly flick through the racks. I usually love shopping and could do it all day, every day, especially with Hannah, but today I'm not that interested.

I was thinking Hannah hadn't noticed, but I realise she has when she suddenly stops her browsing to shoot me a concerned look. "Are you sure?" she asks me curiously. "If you're not, you can tell me. You're acting weird today."

"Weird how?"

"I don't know, just.....not yourself," she replies with a small shrug. "Kind of down."

"I'm not down," I reassure her. "I'm feeling pretty good, for once. I just have a lot on my mind, I guess. It's Harry's birthday in a few days, and I'm kind of freaking out."

Hannah rolls her eyes, letting out a small laugh. "Girl, why didn't you tell me? You know I'm like, the world's best party planner."

"I know you are, and I thought about a party, but I don't really want to do that," I tell her, picking out a nice looking shirt, only to turn it around and find some stupid quote about tacos on the front. I let out a sigh, placing the hanger back on the rack. "God, if I see another top with an emoji on it, I'm going to kill myself."

Hannah laughs. "I know right? It looks like a pre-teen threw up all over them," she says, shaking her head in disbelief. "So if you don't want to throw him a party, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, that's the problem. I want to do something small and simple, but still thoughtful," I tell her, biting my lip as I think. "After all that's happened recently, we're kind of just focusing on us and our relationship."

"Aw, that's sweet," Hannah says with a small smile. "So you want to do something to show him you're thinking of him?"

"Yeah. Any ideas?"

"Well, he's a man, so I think a six-pack of beer and a blowjob would do it."

"I was thinking a bit more thoughtful than that."

"God, you're high maintenance," Hannah jokes with an eye roll, making me laugh. "Why don't you try going back to basics? Lingerie, some toys...."

"Mmm. I've already got some lingerie but I guess I could get some more," I agree with a nod. "I feel like the toy thing is a bit over done, don't you?"

"I know, you could get him a flesh light!"

"Ew no," I say with a grimace. "I still remember when I googled that shit in high school. I've had nightmares ever since."