divorce [h.s.]

fifty four

A.N.

before you read this chapter, let me know what you think is gonna happen based on this gif, I'd be interested to know ;)

Andria

After I finally manage to pull myself up off Harry's floor, I lock up his flat and leave the building, having to walk down all the stairs I just sprinted up, but this time I don't even care. I'm in too much of a daze to care about anything.

I manage to hail yet another cab, deciding to head back to the office. Not because I want to or because I think I could actually do any work, but purely because I don't know where else to go. I could go home, that's what most people would probably do, but I know that will probably just result in me getting drunk, and I don't particularly feel like dealing with a hangover on top of everything else.

I press my body against the wall of the elevator once I've pressed the button for the right floor, letting my eyes flutter closed and letting out a tired sigh. My body feels absolutely exhausted and my chest is heavy, like my heart is physically drooping with sadness. I can't really put my finger on what I'm exactly feeling right now, because most of me is still a bit numb from the whole thing, but I'm sure the realisation will kick in soon enough. I hope it won't hurt as much as I think it will.

The doors finally slide open and I pull myself off the wall, stepping out into the hallway. I walk towards my office probably the slowest I ever have, seeing as I'm usually late and in a rush, but today I feel like I'm just hopelessly trailing along. Maybe that's how I'm feeling. Hopeless.

As expected, Riley is at his desk and he stands up once he sees me approaching, but he isn't full of energy like he usually is. I watch as his eyes quickly scan me up and down, probably noticing what a mess I am, until his gaze lands on my face and his shoulders drop, his expression full of sympathy.

"Oh, Andria," he says, rushing out from behind his desk and wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug.

I furrow my eyebrows at him, keeping my arms down by my sides. "Uh, are you ok?"

"Am I ok?" Riley asks in surprise, pulling back from me and shooting me a look of disbelief. "The question is if you're ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Riley rolls his eyes. "Oh come on, Andria," he sighs. "I know, ok?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He tilts his head to the side, shooting me a disapproving look. I hold his gaze for a while, trying to keep up my clueless and nonchalant act, although it doesn't last very long. Riley knows me much better than I care to admit.

"Ok, fine," I give in. "How did you know anyway?"

Riley's face flashes with a slight look of guilt and he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck. "Uh, I may have read that letter," he admits and I raise my eyebrows at him. "But in my defence, you left it on your desk. It was practically asking to be read."

I just shake my head, sighing. "Whatever."

"I'm....uh," Riley trails off, looking like he's struggling to find the right words, biting his lip. "I'm guessing you didn't find him?"

I pause, blinking up at him. I begin to sense that way too familiar feeling creeping it's way up my throat again, but I desperately swallow it down. I'm not going to cry again. I refuse it.

I just shake my head slowly. "No," I tell him in a quiet voice. "He's gone."

Riley's face falls and it looks like he's going to be the one crying in a minute. "I'm sorry, babe," he says softly.