Chapter 12 - "screaming mess."

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My Over Protective Brothers. Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

"You are helpful, and you are loved, and you are forgiven, and you are not alone." - John Green.

Grayson^

******

All night all the boys kept knocking pleading and begging for me to say something or speak to them. Grayson apologising over and over again. His knocking was hard but slowly dies down. I had a pounding headache which didn't help.

I heard a knock on my door.

"Aspen. It's me Parker" his voice filled with sadness. "Can you put me to bed?" He asked.

I sighed, one brother I couldn't ignore. I walked over to my door and unlocked it. I saw him standing there with his teddy in his hand. I took his hand and walked towards his room, carefully avoiding my brothers.

He ran to his bed and jump it in. I tuck the covers right under his chin. I kiss his forehead just as I am about to leave Parker asks "Can you sing?" He guys me a puppy dog face. I sighed I just wanted to be alone, I nodded my head anyway.

I lay down next to him and began singing Stone Cold by Demi Lovato.

"Stone cold, stone cold. You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor.
Stone cold, stone cold. Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore.
Stone cold, baby. God knows I tried to feel, happy for you.
Know that I am, even if I, can't understand, I'll take the pain."

I looked over at him to see him peaceful asleep holding his teddy bear. I kissed his forehead one more time before walking out of his room. I quickly walked to my room and locked it.

I slid down the door burying my head in my legs with my arms tightly wrapped around me.

I began to cry.

Loudly, just trying to get rid of the bad inside of me.

All you do is hurt everyone around you.

No one likes you Aspen.

I sobbed standing up from the floor, my chest aching, face covered in tears. In frustration I picked up a glass vase from my bedside table and hurled it across the room. I watch as the glass shattered everywhere, falling onto the ground. I didn't care if it had flowers in. I watched as they fell to the floor.

I can't stand it, any of it. I began screaming. I screamed and screamed. Not stopping when I couldn't breathe or when my throat was becoming extremely dry. I heard banging on the door. I screamed louder, pulling my hands through my hair. I dropped to my knees and began pulling at my hair harder.

The door flung open.

Bennett was there with the rest of the brothers behind him.

His eyes widened at my sobbing, screaming mess. He rushed to me not even hesitating to bring me up and hug me tightly to his body. All his attention was on me stroking my hair. I carried on screaming but ended up sounding like a mumble because Bennett was pushing my face into my chest. He was whispering soothing words into my ear.

"Shhh" He whispered into my hair. "It's okay Aspen. You're okay. I love you"

I hugged him backed and dug my nails into him holding him closer to me.

No matter what shit I went through in my life. Bennett was there, he was my rock.

"t-thank y-you" I whispered so low I don't think he heard me.

He continued stoking my hair. "I love you Aspen."

He put me on my bed and he got in beside me. He pulled the covers up and wrapped me tightly, pulling me to him. I listening to his breathing slowly down.

Grayson's POV.

I felt like shit. I cannot believe I got in a physical fight with Aspen. It wasn't even play fighting. I know I shouldn't off said them things, but I get in shit because I'm supposed to be looking after her and the other brothers in school.

She was right, I wasn't there when our parents died. I dealt with my pain differently. I know I am a player but I can't get attach because I can't lose any more people I care about and know I'm slowly losing Aspen. We all are.

All night we waited for her to come down and eat but she didn't. We all knew she was blocking us out. Parker wouldn't stop asking questions. I tried to apologise over and over again, I banged on the door. But no response at all.

It was Parker's bed time and Xavier was taking him to bed.

"I want Aspen to Xavy" He said in a small voice.

"She isnt' talking to anyone Parks, I'm sorry" He said.

"I can try" He jumped down from his arms and ran up the stairs.

After about 5 minutes we heard a door opening and Parker asking Aspen. We heard the sound of footsteps upstairs.

"Who could resist Parker" Xavier chuckled.

I looked over at Bennett knowing he was in deep thought.

He told us when he came home he found her drunk and singing emotional songs. She kept saying she wanted the pain to go away.

Noah came downstairs. "She is singing to Parker" He said with his book in his hand. He walked over to Bennett and sat next to him. He put his head on his lap and began reading. Bennett was stroking his hair lazily.

All of a sudden we heard a glass break and a scream. My heart clench at this sound. We all ran upstairs. The screaming getting louder and hoarse. Bennett was banging on Aspen's door but it was locked. She carried on screaming. I ran to look in Parker's room to see him still asleep. How he can sleep through her screaming is beyond me.

I ran back to the boys, just to see Bennett kicking the door open. In there was Aspen on her knees pulling her hair and screaming.

Bennett scooped her up but she kept screaming. He managed to calm her down.

Xavier pushed us from the door and went downstairs making sure we all followed. He went into the kitchen and sat on the stool, placing his head on the table.

"What are we going to do?" He muttered to himself.

"Why is she doing this?" Kol asked.

"I don't know buddy" He said.

"She is destroying herself. The self-hatred for herself is strong. She thinks she is the problem of everything and hurts everything and everyone around her." Noah spoke up.

"How do you know that?" Derek asked.

"I hear her talk to herself and I see it in her eyes" He gives us a small smile.

Self-hatred. Destroying herself.

"She shouldn't be like this. She is supposed to be our rock. We are supposed to be there for her, take care of her and look at her. Our princess, she is suffering" Xavier lifted his head of the table.

We all knew he was right.


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