don't you go // lrh

/thirty five/

thanksgiving

/amara/

The anticipation of seeing Luke kept me up half the night. I'd shut my eyes and wait for sleep to come, and I'd think about him. My eyes would shoot open, remembering the color of his eyes or the way he looks when he's asleep. And just as quick as it came, it left and the memory wasn't enough.

I texted him that as soon as I woke up. The excited part. No details. He said it was really cute and that he was just as excited to see me.

When I reported downstairs, my mom pointed out how tired I look. She was just coming in with Fran, holding my outfit for party and a back up in case I spill something. I used to do that a lot when I was a kid. On purpose. Spill cranberry sauce on myself so my nanny would be forced to remove me from the party.

"Jesus sweetie. Would it kill you to put on some eye cream?" She says after only glancing at me for a second or two.

"Morning." I say.

I'm too tired to think up something snarky anyway. I exchanged glances with my dad, and he shrugged. It's been like this for days. She'll say something less than nice and he'll tell me to just cut her a break. She's stressed from all the oh so rigorous party planning. She's pulled in a million different directions. Wine tasting. Dinner tasting. Desert tasting. The horror!

Deep down I'm sort of glad the holiday season sort of stresses her out. It reminds her that she doesn't have to work for a living and she mellows out again for a few months.

"Morning principessa." Dad says, chuckling when he sees the look on my face.

They've been awake for a while and he's only halfway through the green juice we're now both forced to drink every day. I clink my bottle against his and we share a miserable little laugh.

I go into the fridge, wondering if there's anything for breakfast. But I see my designated grapefruit cut in half, covered in plastic wrap just waiting for me. Mmm. Yummy.

"You need to save room for tonight." My mom says when she sees me pull it out.

It is a small grapefruit this time and now I know why.

"Right." I chirp.

Fran brings my dad and I all our vitamins and though it's a result of the worst thing that's ever happened to my family, I like that we do it together now. It actually makes me want to take my vitamins since now he does too. Except of course his are jumbled up with medicine for his 'condition'.

I ask him for the millionth time if he's up for all this. It breaks my heart a little when he says he just wants to feel normal again.

After my mom verbally abuses the caterer, she joins us at the breakfast nook all smiles, going on and on about how excited she is for tonight. She'll even let my dad cheat on his meal plan since it's a holiday and she's feeling generous. It's really quite scary how she can flip that switch so easily.

She's back in prison guard mode soon enough. She got her game face on as the decorators were arriving.

I only eat about half of my grapefruit, missing the day's of Luke's homemade scrambled eggs now more than ever. I toss the remnants just in time for Fran to tell me and mom that our company arrived.

Lily quickly joined my mom after saying her hello's, and my friends trailed behind her. The girls made an extra effort to be really polite to my parents as if it was their first time meeting them. But it's good to know we all feel it. The thin ice we're on. We can't handle another forced separation so soon.