Team Fortress 2 x Reader One Shots

Third Soldier x Child

A/N

Requested by: @UnknownFicz

Thanks for the request! I could have uploaded sooner but I got lazy, watched some videos, went to dinner with my sister Nickie, and watched Home on the Range. So here you go! I hope you like it!

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(Y/N)'s P.O.V:

"Thank you and welcome to my kitchen show!" I said. I imagined the audience cheering. I was wearing Pyro's chef hat, which I was borrowing so it's okay. "Today, we will be making chocolate cake!"

I reached up and grabbed a big mixing bowl off the counter. I set it down on the floor and reach up on the counter and grabbed a wooden spoon. I put it inside the bowl. I reached up and grabbed the bag of flour. It turned out to be heavier than I thought, so I accidently dropped it. White powder splattered on the floor.

"Whoops."I looked around. "I'm sure somebody will forgive me for that." I picked it up, causing more powder to spill out. "You're going to need flour in order to bake this cake. " I poured a bunch of flour into the bowl. I then set the bag down on the floor. It was too heavy to put back onto the counter. I hurried over to the fridge. "Next, you'll need eggs." I opened the fridge and grabbed the egg carton. I set it down on the floor and closed the fridge. I opened the carton and grabbed 3. "You'll need 3 eggs."

I cracked them on the side of the bowl and put them in. I tried to get as few shells in there as possible, but it was hard to keep them out. The shells I kept out, I looked at. What should I do with them? Throw them out? I looked over at the trash, which was all the way across the room. Nah. I shrugged and tossed them over my shoulder.

"Next, you'll need water."I walked over to the counter, and climbed up on it. I grabbed a cup, and turned on the sink. I filled it to the brim. "You'll need one cup." I leaned over the edge of the counter. Pyro's hat fell of my off of my head. "Oops. Oh well." I then poured the water into the bowl. Some missed and splashed onto the ground, the rest made it in the bowl. I tossed the plastic cup aside. "Don't need that anymore."I got down off of the counter and hurried over to my mixing bowl.

"Next, you put it in the oven!" I picked it up, although it was kind of heavy. I hurried over to the oven and opened it up. I put the plastic bowl inside. I'm not allowed to use the oven, so I just pretended. "Now you wait for 10 minutes."I waited for a little bit, and hummed a random tune. I checked my wrist as if checking a watch. I then made the noise an alarm clock would. "Dingalingalingaling! Oh! It's done!"I opened the oven and took out the bowl. I closed the oven with my foot. I giggled as I ran off with the bowl. But I tripped over the carton of eggs I left on the floor. "Whoa!"I fell down on my face and my bowl flew up in the air. It came back down on top of my head. I lifted the bowl off my head, which emptied its contents on my head. My hair was now wet and sticky. I cried. "Waaaaaahaaahaa! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Daddy!"I cried.

"Hold on baby I'm coming!"I heard my daddy Soldier yell. I heard daddy's heavy footsteps as he sprinted towards the kitchen. I heard him run in. "Where are you?"He asked. I sat up from the floor and cried. I balled my hands into fists while I rubbed my eyes, trying to get the water out of them. Soldier ran over to me and picked me up. He hugged me to him. "I've got you. Shh-shh-shh-shhhhh. Don't cry."He said softly. I slowly started to stop crying. "Tell me what happened."I sniffled.

"I was making a cake but I fell and now it's all over me and the floor."Soldier looked me up and down, and then all around the kitchen. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"Wh-wha-what were you doing?"I sniffled.

"I was baking a cake."

"I... I see..."Soldier cleared his throat. "Engie! You might want to come see this..."

"Yeah I'm comin'!"I heard Engie's voice. Soldier held me out and looked me up and down again.

"Let's get you cleaned up sweetie."I nodded and sniffled. "Then we'll make you a real cake."I brightened up.

"Yes!"We began walking out of the messy kitchen.

"What is- WHAT IN TARNATION HAPPENED HERE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KICTHEN?! DAG NAB IT!"I heard Engie's hard hat hit the floor hard and him stomping on the ground.

"Whoops."I said. Soldier shrugged.

"Eh. Not our problem. He'll take care of it."I smiled and hugged daddy's neck.

"Love you daddy."Soldier chuckled.

"I love you too. You are getting egg and flour on me." I pulled away.

"Oops. Sorry."

"Engineer? Vhat is vrong? I heard yel- WHAT ZHE HELL?! WHO DID ZHIS! I SVEAR I VILL BEAT ZHE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER DID THIS!" I clenched my teeth and looked at Soldier. He started walking faster.

"Let's go!"

"Good idea."I said. 

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A/N

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee!

(Btw, in the video, it was like 'Spy sappin' my sandcastle!' lol)