Gotta Be You [Complete]

Chapter 37

Isla's POV

I took a deep breath as I got up from the couch and stood in front of the TV, partly because I wanted to make sure that all of them could see me but mostly because I felt nervous being so close to them while I was about to talk.

All eyes were glued on me and I suddenly became nervous. Once again, I looked at Liam and he gave me an encouraging nod. I relaxed a little bit, remembering his words of encouragement while we were talking outside. 

To calm my nerves, I just looked at Liam most of the time. Actually, I just avoided looking at Harry or Niall. Their piercing gazes kept muddling up my thoughts and I couldn't concentrate. I looked back at Liam and took another deep breath.

"Okay," I finally said. "Before I start talking about everything that I wanted to talk about, I just have a few...conditions." I paused, looking at each of them in turn, noticing confusion pass through their faces. When I got no response from any of them, I continued. "When I'm saying everything that I need to say, none of you are allowed to interrupt me, you cannot disagree with anything I have to say, even if you are totally against it. I don't even want you to comment on anything that I have to say until I finish." I tried to sound firm but I found my voice faltering a couple of times from nervousness. Therefore, I just gave them a serious look. "Understand?" I gave each of them another look.

They looked nervous and apprehensive as the sudden seriousness that filled the air around us. They all nodded and focused all of their attention on me. 

"Okay," I said, looking back at Liam for a few seconds to calm myself down again. Once I did, I looked around at each of them while I talked. "First, I wanted to speak to all of you together. There are many things that I need to tell all of you...even though it'll be hard for me, I think it'll be good for all of us. However, I'd like to speak first." I paused and then looked at Harry and Niall in turn. "And then I would like to speak to Harry and Niall alone." 

They both tensed up and the three other boys looked at them anxiously. Harry and Niall gave me a small nod in understanding. 

"So, what I wanted to tell all of you first is...how sorry I am for leaving y--"

"Isla, don't be s--"

I gave Niall a stern look. "Niall, I said you couldn't interrupt me. Even if you disagree with what I have to say." I tried to make it sound as least harsh I could while trying to sound firm in order to make them understand how much I wanted them to listen to what I had to say. 

Niall quickly shut his mouth and slouched his body. I ignored the hurt written on his face and continued before I would end up completely stopping this conversation and hide in the bedroom.

I took another deep breath, collecting my thoughts. "Like I was saying, I want to let you all know how deeply sorry I am for leaving the way I did. I just...I felt hurt, betrayed, humiliated and so many other things that night that...I couldn't handle it. I felt so much pain, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to break things. I wanted to do things that scared me by even thinking it. I didn't think I could handle showing my face after what happened. I know I wrote in the letter telling you how angry I was with all of you for not telling me the truth and...I'm going to let you guys explain why you kept it from me." 

I saw Harry and Niall open their mouths to say something. "After I finish saying everything I need to say," I interjected quickly. They shut their mouth as quickly as it opened in defeat.

"With me leaving though, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I knew how much it would hurt you with me leaving, I almost stayed because of it but I knew that me getting away from everything was the best thing for me at the time. I had too many things bottled up inside of me and I didn't want to explode and cause more trouble for everyone."