Rumor Has It

Chapter 30: Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about what my papa said yesterday. And while its made me think a lot about my life. I've met so many people and made so many friends but really there are only a few people who I care about.

I remember in middle school how I felt when most of my friends stopped talking to me.

It was because of my moms death. I had become the little distant thirteen year old who no one wanted to talk to.

I remember walking through the halls looking sad. None of my friends ever asked me what was wrong. They all just kept quiet.

Except for Cayla. She would walk around with one arm around me all the time. When people would look and whisper one galre would shut them up.

But one time she couldn't be there for me. One say she was sick and that's when it all came tumbling down.

At lunch I had went up and got my food to nibble at, because really I never ate much. After receiving my salad I sat down at my usual table with all my friends who I knew even before the death.

Right as my bum hit the seat they all looked at me. They exchanged glances and whispers as if I couldn't see them. I just gave them small smiles and stared at my salad.

Breathe. I had told myself. Just breathe.

Finally one of them spoke up "So um Alison, how have you been lately?" This came from Billy

"I've been fine" I whispered

"Really, because we don't think you have" he said as a matter of factly

"Yeah, I mean Aly we really don't" another friend, Gina chimed in.
"Oh ok" I continued to look down.

"I mean really we've all been talking and we don't know what to say. We were going to talk to you about your sudden change in attitude but we didn't know how" Billy said

"I mean we've all talked but we didn't want to tell you, cause you might get upset." Gina finished

A tear slowly rolled down my cheek. So they'd all been talking about me too. They all betrayed me. That's how I felt that day.

I got up so quickly and just to the bathroom to cry. I had knew others would talk about me, but I never knew my friends would sink that low.

I stayed in there the whole rest of the day. I was hysterical. I couldn't calm down. I think Gina tried to make me feel better. But I was done. I wasn't having any of it. That was the day that I realized that there was only one friend I could trust.
**

I'm still thinking about the past for the rest of the day, but eventually I go to sleep.

*Dream*

"Alison!" Nathan is lying on a hospital bed screaming

I am standing close but not close enough.

He is crying and screaming "Aly! Please I'm sick! Save me!"

Hot tears run down my cheeks. I open my motuh but no words come out. I instinctively reach up and grab my throat.

He continues to scream for me. But then time starts passing. As the times goes on he looks worse.

He's getting skinner and pailer with each second. And all I can do is stand there. Helpless to him.

I try to move try to shout but I can't.

He looks done when he yells "Alison, I love you!"

I try to answer but can't.

"Please! Say it back! It will save me!"

I can't. I keep trying to I can't. I feel myself getting weaker until I collaspe. When I look up I see Nathan taking in his last breathe and dying.
**

I wake up in tears. I have trouble breathing for a second but I finally manage.

Why would I have that dream? I don't even want to think about Nathan dying. I love him so much.

When I am calmer I go to the kitchen and call Nathan. I need to hear his voice. Right away I get his voicemail but I remember that he is probably on a plane back from visoting his family.

I leave a messahe "Hey Nathan, I just miss you I guess. Call me when you can. I love yoh" this last words sting

They remind me of that awful dream. I sit there for a moment before going into my room for the night.

Another update! I don't really know, this one just came to me. Please comment and vote :)