Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 25

Zeke managed to duck just in time as the large tree branch swung over his head. The purple giant let out a noise that sounded like a burst of radio static and swung the branch downwards in a hammering motion. Zeke jumped to the side and managed to barely avoid being smashed into a bloody pulp. The purple man let out another static squawk and charged towards Zeke again.

"Why the hell is he attacking me?" Zeke asked as he ignored the numerous sharp objects on the ground and began running.

"I don't think he's too happy about the fact that you attempted to abduct him," Nulfar said. He had his notebook out and appeared to be taking notes.

"What do you mean I attempted to abduct him? You guys are the ones traveling to different planets and insisting on taking live specimens. And besides, Sadie was the one who actually abducted him. I was an innocent bystander."

The giant drew back his arm and hurled the tree branch at Zeke like a javelin. It missed him by a few inches and crashed into the wreckage of the flying saucer.

"For the love of God, man! Would you explain to him that I didn't do it?" Zeke shouted as he ran past Nulfar. "I would do it but I don't speak static."

Nulfar opened his mouth and a static burst came out. The purple man responded with a similar static noise. Nulfar said something in the alien language again and received another reply.

"I see," Nulfar said. "I was correct that he's very upset about the abduction, which by the way he holds you responsible for. But it appears he's equally, if not more, upset about you crashing the saucer. He didn't enjoy the force of the impact, but even more egregiously, you managed to crash into an art sculpture he had been working on for quite some time. I explained to him that you were the one piloting the saucer when it crashed and hence the fault is yours."

"Did you also explain the part where I was impaired because you poisoned me and then let me take the wheel?"

"He wouldn't be interested in a petty detail like that, I'm quite certain," Nulfar said.

The purple man made another static noise and began cracking his knuckles ominously.

"What's he saying now?" Zeke asked.

"He said that sculpture was a tribute to his favorite aunt and that it was his pride and joy in life and you took that away from him."

The purple man squawked again.

"Now he said that he is very much going to enjoy ripping your head from your puny shoulders and defecating down your open neck hole."

"You've got to explain to him that this wasn't my fault," Zeke said.

"But then I wouldn't be teaching you a valuable lesson about taking responsibility for your actions," Nulfar said.

"Taking responsibility for my actions?" Zeke sputtered as he tried to walk both quickly and carefully over the sharp-debris filled ground. "Didn't you just say he holds me responsible for the abduction attempt, which we both know had nothing to do with me? Shouldn't you be the one taking responsibility for that?"

"Perhaps," Nulfar said. "But I am a long-lived and enlightened being. I long ago learned about taking responsibility. So now I allow you to get the lesson, which I clearly do not need. Also if I were to take responsibility he would very likely be attempting to smash my head in now, so I allowed him to remain under the impression that it was you who was, in fact, responsible. By the way, I do hope you survive this encounter and are able to incorporate your new found appreciation of responsibility into a richer and more fully formed worldview going forward."