Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 70

"Everyone to my lab!" Dr. Octavius shouted out. "Quickly! We need to regroup and formulate a plan!"

"Oh, great timing, you dicks," Max shouted over his shoulder as he started to run. "You couldn't wait until after the reception. Hell, they're probably here to raid the open bar."

"At least they waited until after Bobby and Cindy got married," Zeke said as he started jogging alongside Max.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Max said. "I give them six months to a year tops. Bobby's not the type who wants to be tied down. Hold on to your personal belongings, by the way. If one of those chihuahuas catches up to you, they'll rob you blind." He clutched his flask tightly in his hands.

"I'm not really carrying anything on me," Zeke said. "I was lying in a gutter in my underwear before you gave me this tuxedo, remember?"

"That was like half an hour ago," Max said. "I can't be bothered to remember things that far in the past. Not when there are chihuahuas who want to steal my flask. Not to mention demons and devils who probably want to do other horrific things."

They exited the gardens and emerged on a busy street where everything had erupted into chaos. Giant muscular demons were swinging whips at the panicked crowds that rushed past, while roving gangs of chihuahas swarmed around picking pockets left and right. Zeke glanced over to his right and saw a familiar looking blue donkey wrestling with a chihuahua.

"WBDG!" he shouted out. "Come with us!"

The donkey managed to throw the chihuahua over his shoulder and then he ran to catch up with Zeke and Max. "What the hell is going on?"

"I think that Warlord clown came back with reinforcements," Max said. "The Doc will know what to do. We'll just have to chase those jerks out again and make sure they stay out this time."

"Do you really think it'll be that easy?" Zeke said. "These guys seem pretty serious. Remember that huge demon guy we saw when we went through the door? I think that's their leader. Maybe they followed us back here."

"That guy didn't seem so tough to me," Max said. "I bet if I just whipped out a bit of my old patented ninjitsu he'd crumble in a heartbeat."

They ducked down a side alley and arrived a few minutes later at Dr. Octavius's lab. Most of the wedding party was either already there or trickling in. Sarah was standing across the room with Maurice. Zeke tried to get her attention but she was still refusing to look at him for some reason.

The scientists Lothar and Benjamin were seated at the table studying various doorways. Next to them Zeke saw Nulfar and Archduke Wilhelm the Goat engaged in a conversation with Milosh, who beckoned them over when he made eye contact.

"Hello, Earthling," Nulfar said. "How have you been?"

"Uh, good," Zeke said. "What's going on?"

"We are being invaded by the forces of Zyvax the Intergalactic Destroyer of Worlds," Nulfar said. "I realize you're very primitive, but I thought even you would be smart enough to figure that out."

"Yeah, I know that," Zeke said. "I was just asking what's going on in general?"

"Oh, well my colleague Captain Moogreet asked me to thank you for assisting in freeing him from the grasp of our ancient enemy. He would have thanked you himself, but he elected to travel with the crew of the Starswan. I decided I've grown a bit weary with the rigors of space travel myself and thought this seemed like a nice place to settle down. My good friend Archduke Wilhelm and I are thinking about opening up a flower shop."

"It can also double as a cafe," Archduke Wilhelm said. "Flowers are delicious."

"Is friend Max feeling okay?" Milosh asked. "Is looking a little pale."

"What?" Max asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, it seems like your green complexion is fading," Zeke said.

"For crying out loud, how come there aren't any mirrors around this place?" Max said as he glanced around frantically. "Wait, the surface of my flask is somewhat reflective." He pulled it out and studied his reflection. "Aw, crap. You guys are right. I'm losing my green color more with each passing second. Those jerks must have built another one of their green draining machines. This is a catastrophe! On a lighter note, this flask sure does distort your reflection in some pretty funny ways. Look how big it makes your forehead look from this angle. It's funny."

"I think Dr. Octavius is about to say something," Zeke said.

Dr. Octavius stood on top of a stool and cleared his throat. "Attention friends and colleagues. It appears the being known as the Warlord has returned to Quartzwater City, although this time he's being a bit less secretive in regards to his invasion. Now, we've managed to chase him off once before, but evidently we didn't finish the job. He may have returned with more reinforcements, and they may be very powerful and dangerous indeed, but we have a distinct advantage that we didn't have last time. We've managed to capture a good number of their doors, and we've figured out how to use some of them to our purposes. I'm confident if we band together and use our combined intellect to formulate a suitable strategy we can prevail over this threat once and for all!"

The room erupted in loud cheers that made Zeke's hangover throb miserably.

"There's one small problem," Nulfar called out. "This isn't the primary threat. This is merely a small side invasion of a much larger and more dangerous entity. The being you know as the Warlord is but a henchman to the true adversary. His name is Zyvax the Intergalactic Destroyer of Worlds and he has come to destroy my galaxy. We may indeed be able to stop the invasion here, but it won't put a stop to the real threat."

"No offense, but isn't your galaxy in a complete other universe?" Max asked. "Who cares if he destroys it?"

"Hey wait a minute," Zeke said. "Earth is in that universe, too. I care if it gets destroyed."

"Also, he obviously knows how to come here," Dr. Octavius said. "After he destroys the other galaxy he may very well decide to send his full forces here next. Also, as we've previously established with the toenail theory, this universe and that universe are intimately intertwined. If you destroy one, you destroy the other."

"Then we'll just have to find my perfect universe and all move there," Max said. "I've been meaning to keep looking for it anyway."

"But you forget, Zyvax the Intergalactic Destroyer of Worlds has access to the same universe transporting technology that you do," Nulfar said. "Wherever you go, he can follow. As long as he exists, no world, no universe, no reality is safe. The only way we can put a stop to this is to somehow defeat him head on."

"Well, then that's what we'll have to do," Dr. Octavius said. "Does anybody have any clue where this Zyvax fellow might be?"

"Other Miloshes on Ingleblott are reporting large spaceship descending from the sky," Milosh said. "Milosh's home planet is being invaded by main attack force."

"I think we might also have a doorway that leads straight to the man himself," Zeke said.

"Well then," Dr. Octavius said. "It seems we know where he is and how to get to him. Now we just need to figure out what exactly we're planning on doing."