Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 69

"Zeke, wake up, man. You're going to be late for the wedding."

Zeke opened his eyes slowly. It felt like a couple of semi-trucks had driven over his head. Looking around he realized that the sun had climbed pretty far up in the sky. He estimated it was somewhere around late morning. He also appeared to be lying down in a gutter in nothing but his underwear and a pair of bright pink socks. Max was standing over him wearing a pastel blue tuxedo.

"Where the hell did you go anyway?" Max asked. "The rest of us regrouped outside the club after we all got kicked out. We stopped in several bars looking for you, but we couldn't find you."

"Uh, I honestly can't remember anything after we arrived at the club," Zeke said as he sat up and held his pounding head. "I remember something about Bad Decisions and then not much else. How did I end up here?"

"Hell if I know," Max shrugged. "I was heading over to the Buttermoss Gardens for the wedding and I saw you passed out there in the gutter. But don't worry, I'm sure your night was uneventful."

"What happened to my clothes?" Zeke asked.

"I don't know, but lucky for you I have a tuxedo for you, since you're one of the groomsmen." Max reached into his jacket and pulled out a wadded up blue bundle. "Put that on and let's get going."

"I feel like death," Zeke said as he donned the wrinkled tuxedo. "How are you so chipper? Did you get a good night's sleep?"

"Sleep?" Max blinked his eyes. "I haven't slept. I've been drinking non-stop since last night. Speaking of which, I see you still have my flask. Good, I was looking for that." He grabbed the flask out of Zeke's hand and took a swig off of it. "Doesn't look like you left me very much. But that's okay. There's sure to be booze at the reception. I'll refill it there. Now come on, I have a wedding to preside over."

*

They arrived at the Buttermoss Gardens several minutes later. A small crowd was gathered in a lush grassy field. They appeared to be re-using their lawn chairs from yesterday for seating. Zeke took his place with the groomsmen in between Timmy and Cuthbert.

"You made it," Timmy said with a look of surprise.

"Yeah," Zeke said as he squinted in the sunlight, which seemed about a thousand times brighter than normal. "What in the bloody hell is that high-pitched noise?"

"Oh, that's the singing trees," Timmy said. "They grow here in the gardens. We intentionally set up here at a decent distance so they'd provide background music for the ceremony."

"Somebody needs to turn them down a couple notches," Zeke said. He looked over and saw Bobby standing by the altar. He looked a little nervous, but wide-eyed and well groomed.

"Who's bright idea was it to have the wedding the day after the bachelor party?" Zeke asked. "And why do you guys all look like you're doing decently well? I feel like a couple of anvils got dropped on my head."

"Bobby and Cindy wanted to get married as soon as they possibly could," Timmy shrugged. "That Dr. Octavius guy gave us something he called pep juice and it really helped."

"I could use some of that stuff right about now," Zeke said. He spotted Sarah sitting out in the audience next to Maurice and attempted to get her attention. She scowled at him and then turned her head, refusing to look back at him. "What crawled in to her panties?" Zeke asked. He looked around some more and saw Milosh sitting by himself. The alien smiled and jumped out of his chair when he made eye contact. He ran over and gave Zeke a big hug. "Is good to see Zeke. Hugs for Milosh."