Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 44

"That's weird," Zeke said.

"What?" Sadie asked.

"For some reason I suddenly feel like I owe Max two drinks and a flask."

"Who's Max?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, someone I knew a long time ago in another universe. I'm pretty sure I don't actually owe him anything, but it weirdly feels like I do. Oh well, it's not like I'm going to be paying that debt any time soon."

"Is very happy every time Max comes back," Milosh said. "Is giving him big hugs."

"You seriously say the weirdest things, man," Zeke said. "How could you possibly be giving Max hugs?"

"Can't right now," Milosh said. "But will when he comes back."

"I don't know, maybe I'm just going insane," Zeke said. "That seems like a pretty rational response when you're floating through the middle of uncharted space on a bed. Maybe I'm not even in outer space. Maybe I'm in a nice little white room just imagining all of this."

"If you are imagining this, can you make me a blonde?" Sadie asked. "I always wanted to try that out. Just never got around to dying my hair. Seems like it would be fun though. Also maybe you could bump me up a cup-size. Might as well look my best while I'm slowly dying in some lunatic's imagination."

"Also could maybe imagine us some food," Milosh said.

"Bah," the goat said.

"Do goats taste good?" Zeke asked.

"Hey, I didn't save him just so you could eat him," Sadie said as she threw a protective arm around the goat. "Plus, I named him Archduke Wilhelm the Goat. You can't eat someone who has a name."

"Don't even think about eating me," WBDG said as he puffed out his chest. "I'm a grand wrestling master and I'll take you down if you even try."

Bumble-Boo hissed menacingly before Zeke even looked at him.

"We're going to have to eat something at some point," Zeke said as he rubbed his belly. "Do you think Hooblerians are edible?"

"I'm totally in favor of eating Nulfar first," Sadie said. "But do we have anything to cook with? He looks like he'd be kind of gross raw."

Nulfar snored.

"Is he sleeping?" Zeke asked. "How can anyone sleep in a situation like this? Doesn't he know what's on the other side of that window? It's an endless eternity of nothingness. That's, like, the most existentially terrifying thing I can think of."

"It is a comfy bed," Sadie said.

Bumble-Boo let out a high-pitched chirp in agreement.

"But we're all going to die," Zeke said. "Doesn't that alarm anyone else besides me?"

"Of course it's alarming," Sadie said. "I'm totally freaking out here. I'm kind of trying not to focus on it too much."

"Is okay if Milosh die," Milosh said. "Lots of other Miloshes. Losing one Milosh no big deal."

"Okay, you're definitely never in charge when we're in potentially dangerous situations," Zeke said. "Not with a reckless attitude like that. What's next, are you going to take up juggling bombs or something?"