Doorways to Everywhere (Tourist Trap Book 2)

Chapter 42

"Hold still, you big baby," Sadie said as she dabbed at Zeke's face with a washcloth.

"It hurts!" Zeke said. "It feels like I got run over by a freight train or something. Big Helga throws a mean left hook."

"It seems like I'm always having to rescue you from getting beat up. You must have a punchable face or something."

"Yeah, I don't get it," Zeke said. "I'm like the most non-violent guy I know. I usually try to avoid confrontations if I can help it. But for some reason aliens and weird monsters like to try to beat the crap out of me."

The door whooshed open and Nulfar came into the room. "I'd heard that you got into some trouble at the space station. I was unable to meet you at the rendezvous point as I was busy with some much more important work than tending to your well-being. Still, I see that you shouldn't be left unsupervised at any time. At least you managed to make it back aboard the spaceship without my assistance. Perhaps there is some hope for you after all."

"Yeah, about that trouble I got into," Zeke said. "There were all these big, scary, demon-looking guys."

"I'm sure they were perfectly nice people," Nulfar said with a dismissive wave. "You mustn't judge others just because they're a little different than you. You Earthlings are really so small minded."

"I really don't think these guys were good people," Zeke said. "There was a lot of talk of killing and strangulation and what sounded like smuggling or something to me. Also they were asking a lot of questions about you guys."

"We Hooblerians are a fascinating people, if I do say so myself," Nulfar said. "If I were not a Hooblerian I would be interested in learning about us, too, just so I might seek out ways to improve myself. Of course, I could never hope to be as amazing as a Hooblerian, but in seeking to emulate them even a little bit I would be starting down the road to becoming a much better person."

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying at all?" Zeke asked.

"Isn't it cute how the little Earthling thinks he has important things to say? By the way, are you doing something different with your looks? Your eyes appear to be blackened and your lip looks much fatter. It's a vast improvement, I have to say. I didn't wish to mention anything before so as not to wound your feelings, but you were quite unpleasant to look at."

"Do you guys have some raw steaks or something we can put on Zeke's eyes to help the swelling go down?" Sadie asked.

"You wish for the swelling to go down?" Nulfar asked. "Did you not just hear what I said about his looks being improved? And you accuse me of not listening to you. I do not believe we have any raw steaks, but I am certain we have something that will help with the swelling, if that is what you truly wish."

"Yes, please," Sadie said. "Go use your superior alien technology to whip up a magical healing salve or something."

"Very well, I might just do that. But only because it pleases me to do so, not because you asked me. I do not follow orders from inferior beings."

"Whatever, you prick," Sadie mumbled as Nulfar exited the room.

A moment later the door whooshed open again and Milosh and Bumble-Boo walked in. "Is very sorry Milosh allowed beastly woman to beat up on Zeke. Is currently taking martial arts class back on Ingleblott. Will be better prepared to fight next time."